Addendum

This is an addendum to my post about New Year’s resolutions.
Hidden within number five is a pretty big issue. . . . Figuring out what I want.

I was undecided then undeclared in college until I finally just settled into something. I barely work with that major now, though I did like the subject matter and I do like my job. I worked in the Counseling & Career Services Department in college. I got to take the Myers-Briggs a number of times, spend downtime looking through all the reference material they had, and I met with every counselor at least once in hopes they’d shed light on me for me. The most interesting (not necessarily helpful, but interesting none the less) thing I was ever told was that I needed to determine what (to me) was a hobby vs. a career. I never thought about separating the two. Like I said, this may not have been good advice; it may have simply added to my fretting, who knows. In any case, as much as I hate to (because I know I will fail at it – I have every year, for years) I must make this a separate resolution.

6. Figuring out what I want. I need to work towards figuring out some dreams, goals, and ambitions. This could be both short-term and/or long-term and this relates to all aspects of my life, not just career. I am starting by reading The Power of Now, which I do not want to read. I do not like living in the present – I can barely do it for the 5 minute meditation at the beginning of yoga. And shavasana – forget about it! I don’t hate the present, or my life. I just don’t feel like it’s moving towards anything (I know that may be the point, but I hate that). I’m not spontaneous so I either need to find that that is truly me and let go of the organizational demon inhabiting me, or find a way to merge the now an the future. I realize reading the book would actually be a start, rather than assuming what it’s going to say and avoiding it. This will be a tough one.