DeQuervain's tenosynovitis

That's what I have . . . DeQuervain's tenosynovitis plus a case of intersection syndrome. Fun.

Basically, DeQuervain's tenosynovitis is common in new mothers I read. And carrying J is how I've gotten it. It started when he was 2 months old and was not large enough to sit on my hip and look forward. So I held him facing out with his back against me. Once the right wrist was inflamed, I switched hands thinking that would give the right time to heal. Well, the left is weaker so instead it rapidly became inflamed. That was May. By August my forearms were hurting and I went to the doctor. Tendonitis was the diagnosis and I left with a script for some NSAIDs. I took those daily and wore the recommended wrist braces. The meds helped but then the Rx ran out the pain came back exactly as bad as it had been.
I asked for a referral and saw an orthopedic a couple weeks ago. Now I'm wearing massive wrist braces with metal splints inside. Very pretty. At least they're black which does go with everything. I also have 6 weeks of physical therapy.

I really wasn't look forward to physical therapy. I've gone for my knee in the past. I'm not good at doing the homework so it was a waste of time. My bad, I know. So far though my wrists are so inflammed that I only have stretches - super simple stretches! I'm actually remembering to do them. Icing on the other hand, well, I haven't done that once. I know I should but I just never remember when I actually have time.
The appointments are cool. I have ultrasound done which heats up the tendons making them feel MUCH better. They feel better than any anti-inflammatory every made them feel. Then I stretch and do stregnth stuff . . . then the dreaded ice. Oh, yeah I may not have mentioned I hate icing too so there's that too.
That's the wrist issue. I really hope to get a handle on this and actually cure it. I need to be able to function better than I am now.

Massive Melancholy

'Tis the season - for melancholy. I absolutely love fall but it makes me melancholy because I do not love winter. It's not the snow, or the craziness of the holidays - it's the darkness. It's the painfully dry and cold air that assaults my nose all season.
The crisp fall air is refreshing, especially after a stifling August. Not that I'd categorize this past August as stifling, though we certainly could have used more rain. The smell of the fall leaves is almost as delightful as their color. I relish the change of my closet - bringing the sweaters down from the attic and packing up the sandals. By fall my feet are as ready to be cozy in socks & shoes as they are ready to be free each spring.

I'm especially melancholy today because though my hubby does not leave for his business trip until tomorrow I really will not see him anymore until he returns. He got tickets to the PSU/OSU game and will be home very late. His flight is insanely early so he'll get most of his sleep on the plane. I would rather see him off at the airport than have things operate this way. I hate saying good-bye knowing the person is still around and I could be soaking up more time in their company. Frankly that adds to the melancholy. I'm happy I will see him for a few moments tonight and again in the wee hours of the morning. And in reality four days or so is not that long. I'm even luckier because my mom is coming to stay and keep me company.

I plan to spend my four D-free days working on my scrapbooks, recovering a couple chairs, and getting ready for Halloween. Oh, and of course hanging out with baby J and my mom. I managed to squeeze in an extra physical therapy appointment too (that's a whole other blog). So there are good points, but I will still miss my vbff, D, while he is away.

We are . . . PENN STATE!

Every morning . . .

Every morning when J gets up, we open his curtains and I show him the sunrise. I tell him the colors and about our day. Then we head downstairs for awhile. I peel back the blankets that are keeping dog and cat hair off my couch and we nestle into the corner. J eats breakfast while I take in a little Morning Joe and the Today Show. When J's done eating we cuddle and play. I keep a few toy and books stashed in the living room for morning play. J sits on my lap and in between hugs and smiles we read, watch TV and he plays with his rattles and keys (or the remote if he can convince me it's his). It only lasts about an hour before his morning nap, but it's one of my favorite times of the day - every morning.



Every evening J also has a routine. Can you tell we (I) am schedule driven? After dinner we often take a family walk. With cooler fall nights becoming downright cold our walk is turning into family play time indoors instead. This is really the only time D and J get time to play. As J starts to get tired we get his bath ready, another time for he and D to bond. Then I step in, and it's another favorite time of day for me. I feed J his nighttime bottle, we cuddle, and I rock him to sleep. He chats with me a bit, we listen to the iPod (soothing singer songwriter music and other easy listening hits from the 70s, 80s, 90s AND today). Sometimes I sing to him. Soon he is off to sleep in my arms. He is so peaceful and perfect. It's a wonderful bookend to our morning cuddles and I will repeat it's one of my favorite times of day.

baby J is 7 months today

Yesterday baby J had his 7-month doctor appointment. This is not an appointment most babies have, but we opted to spread out the vaccination schedule so we go every month. Well, we did. He gets a break for 8-months and we'll see what happens for nine. I need to get out my book and read up and then have a lengthy discussion with our doctor. I'm really happy with our choice in pediatricians. She is very candid when discussing which vaccinations she would not be happy with J skipping or delaying and which she is okay with him not getting.
I'm really torn about vaccinations. Reading the literature on both sides is confusing enough but having a study come out saying there is no proof vaccinations are linked to autism at the same time a family is awarded a settlement saying they are linked muddies the water even further. Personally, I think it's probably a mix of things like genetic predisposition, but also including all the toxins in vaccines and our environment. I figure it's better safe than sorry - on both fronts. J is supposed to get 3x the number of vaccines I got as a baby. That's a lot. We've ended up going with something less than the AAP says is a must but still far more than what I had.
This was the first visit in which J had a vaccine reaction too. :( He was cranky all day and seemed to just feel cruddy, plus had a belly ache which was apparent by the very messy diapers and poor little red bum. He woke up a number of times in the night and now is taking extra long naps today. Unfortunately I'm not.
Baby J is growing so fast! He weighed in nearly 2lbs heavier than last month and is nearing 20lbs! (actual weight 18lbs 15oz) They didn't do a height since it was not a "regular" well baby appointment.

I've been making baby food for him now for just over a month. He had a reaction to broccoli, but has enjoyed everything else. Tonight we try beets. I have roasted them and pureed them into an absolutely beautiful shade of red. Now I just need to choose my least favorite bib for him to wear and ruin tonight.
D & I have been eating the same food as J each week. Fresh sweet corn & avocado were first. Butternut squash is not in our normal repertoire so I googled some recipes. We had butternut squash & apple au gratin which was VERY tasty. For the edammame we had an Asian crunch salad (Asian coleslaw essentially - also very yummy). Tonight for the beets we are adding some feta and vinaigrette for a beet salad to accompany our hummus, flat bread and olives. I'm sure it will be delightful. I'm not sure what veggie is on the docket for next week. Maybe I'll let you all decide!

J is almost crawling. Last night I heard my name being yelled and I raced up the stairs. D claimed J took two "steps" (or whatever you call crawling). He did not repeat it for me nor has he done any forward movement this morning. Soon though, very soon.
I bought him some baby legwarmers from etsy last week. I plan to get some fabric paint to add traction. It's so sad to see him struggle on a moving rug or sliding on our hardwood floors. I'll be creating a Penn State leg warmer out of the navy pair I bought, and an argyle one from the tan. I need to de-girl the Family Guy pair that has Brian in a pink collar with pink flowers around it. I'm just going to cover all the pink in red and black. The fourth pair is checkered - think Nascar flag. D hates these, but too bad. I think they're perfect for keeping his little legs warm while he learns to crawl - and beyond!

landscape of over-thinking

Not to be too Paris Hilton right off the bat, but my bff has left the building, the state, the country! Unlike the last friend to leave, this one has all intentions and plans of returning. Ironically, I was visiting with the former whom now resides in Brisbane, Australia (though sadly we were only in Cleveland) when I got a text message that my bff had safely arrived in Delhi, India. Via texts and a surprise phone call last evening, I learned that Delhi airport does not allow you to spend your 5 hour layover in front of a Cinnabon or Sbarro. Instead you must leave and sit in an outdoor lounge area until closer to your flight. I didn't really expect the Cinnabon or Sbarro but the time constraints on staying there was interesting to learn. I'm excited to hear and read more though I know the communication will be limited.
I said my final in-person good-bye the afternoon before she left. It wasn't until I got 3/4 of the way home that I became sad. I'm excited for her and her adventure but I'll miss her. The rest of that evening and the next day her absence became part of the larger landscape of my current mental obsessing . . . the what, where, when, how, and why of my life. Having J didn't automatically answer all these! Go figure.

One big conundrum we're in right now is (one we're actually revisiting) where to live. Luckily the housing market sucks (no, not really luckily) so we don't actually need to be considering options or fretting. That doesn't stop me though. I need to be prepared. When the day comes that the market has bounced back and people are knocking on (and/or down) my door to by my house I must know where I'll relocate. Will it be down the road, down past the Mason-Dixon line, or across the country?
I have two requests in my new home and unfortunately they do not translate into a singular location. The first is family and friends. Staying at home with J, I talk to far fewer people. It would be nice to live near friends and family so I was less lonely and J was able to grow up with a built-in network of kids to play with. The largest group of family lives in Dallas, and there's the bonus of friends there too. And while I of course have friends here, with the exception of the temporarily departed bff, we are not as close as the TX friend and I . . . hence the lonely comment. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not crying or chained to daytime television because I'm friendless or anything. And I am planning to join a mom group so I can have more of a social outlet for myself. I have to say my largest hold out with that is that I don't want to walk into a group of women who are totally unlike me. I want to find people I have common interests with so maybe friendships would more easily evolve. I sorta want to start my own mom's group . . . Progressive Moms of Northern Central Ohio (or something like that). With all the time on my hands, I should have this done by now!
Yeah, yeah back to moving. So why not go to Dallas and have holidays with the family and all the cousins can play together? It doesn't mesh with the second thing I want most - 4 seasons. I really don't want to lose the four seasons. I would move to Dallas short-term but I don't trust myself. I was supposed to be in Ohio under 5 years and 10 later I'm considering sinking the roots further.
It may not sound like a big issue and maybe it shouldn't be, but I think about it a lot. It doesn't help when I must give the financial planner time frames for things like buying our next house. I'm a 'sit still until you KNOW the right decision' type of gal. I don't really take many risks, especially expensive ones. So I will wonder, ponder, fret and obsess though not one of those has ever helped me come to a decision in the past. What is that saying about doing the same thing over and over expecting a different outcome?

bedtime story

a bedtime story . . .

Once upon a time,
in a land nearby
there was a Papa with puppies.
But the puppies were bad
and they made Papa sad,
nipping and biting all over the land.

Papa called and he wrote
and he prayed and he hoped
the man who could whisper the ways
to make the puppies sit, down and stay
would come his way.

Cats meow and basenjis sing
both waiting for the phone to ring
or the email to ding.

For a new alpha in town
Papa was ready to buckle down.
There'd be work to do,
but it's all for you.

A new day will dawn
as the lazy cats yawn
and the new pack leaders will be
Papa, baby J and me.

The End.

Commenting

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Hope

This has been a really good week for me. I've gotten more than my fair share of great surprises. One surprise was finding out I was going to Barack Obama's rally here and that I was going with VIP tickets. This is the only way I could go considering J needs to eat every 3 hours or so, and D was working in the morning. So? Well, that meant standing in line was not an option for me. With the VIP tickets we showed up and walked right in with the press. It was great to get out for the afternoon and be myself. I love staying home with J, but I've not really had many/any opportunities to spend the whole afternoon doing something I wanted.

[Noelle, Tammie, me]

I wasn't super excited until I saw Obama walking up the stairs. I was happy to be out and thought it would be an interesting event. We were seated with other politicians, and right in front of the bullpen where all the speakers were prepped. I was able to meet a number of people that are currently running for offices at the local, state and federal levels. That was pretty cool. It was especially cool to see how much like me they seemed. Well, most of them seemed shockingly normal, though some had airs about them. We sat next to Danielle Blue who is running for OH state senate. She's really young and so we talked to her about how she got into politics.
Anyway, after all the speakers (Governor Strickland, Cordray - running for AG but currently Treasurer, Senator Sherrod Brown, and Mayor Coleman) Obama came up the amphitheater steps and entered the crowd just in front of us. I was ridiculously excited at that point and I think I may have squealed with delight. What is it about him? I heard him speak at the convention in 2004 and he is eloquent and charismatic. So is it just that, charisma? I have to think it's more than that as I've met other charismatic people. Maybe it's that charisma is often mixed with charm and I often find the latter suspicious. I believe part of Obama's appeal is that he oozes authenticity.
The economy is on everyone's minds and that's what he talked about. He touched on healthcare too. Honestly though, when you have to wait in line for hours to see a candidate speak and you make the choice to do that - you're not an undecided voter.

[I got to shake Obama's hand!]

I know I'm voting for Barack Obama.

Barack Obama's proposals are the ones that will help me, all my friends and all of my family. . . and the country.

I'm a stay-at-home mom now. I'm supposed to be working from home but there's just not much part-time work to be had. I do sometimes worry that I did not chose the best time to quit a job that was really stable. I'm also starting a second business, t-shirts. So I'll be one of those small business owners everyone likes to discuss at rallies and debates. I'm voting for Obama because I like his tax plan. His tax plan is for working families. The current model hasn't created a sound economy but the opposite and families are suffering incredibly. We really can NOT afford more of the same. I need a change, and so does my 401k!

When I was working, in a white collar field, even I saw jobs being sent overseas. I saw U.S. vendors being told "no" while we sent stuff to India. No wonder when I try to find a freelance job with those vendors there are none to be had. It made my stomach turn when I saw it in the office, and it still does (just now it's a more personal, close-to-home reason). I'm tired of seeing jobs disappear. I noticed Wal-Mart doesn't even promote that it's goods are Made in the USA anymore. They have the same cheap, dangerous Chinese-made crap that everyone else does. I want to buy American. I want to see factories making goods here. I cannot support any politician that supports sending jobs overseas. Obama is the candidate that opposes this, not McCain. This is a BIG issue for me.

I'm frightened that I would not be approved for healthcare, or even individual services through my provider. I could go bankrupt if I got sick - even though I have "good" coverage. We've worked hard to have what we have and I don't want to lose it. Though Obama's healthcare proposals are not as widespread as I like, something needs to happen. His plan doesn't include tax increases, but I'd gladly pay a little or even a lot in taxes to know I would stay healthy and solvent.

I want my son to enjoy the outdoors. I want him to be able to sit in the sun at the beach and feel it's warmth without worrying about skin cancer. I got to do that when I was little. I want him to be able to hike in the woods, see the arches and hoodoos in our western national parks, know what polar bears are, and rain forests too. There is so much awe-inspiring beauty in this country, in the world, and baby J deserves to enjoy it and feel the sense of awe we all do. All of our children and grandchildren deserve better than what we are preparing for them.
We need a big change in our energy policy not only for the environment but for our foreign policy as well. We need to get out from under our middle Eastern oil addiction. We need to invest in Earth's natural energy - the sun and wind. Drill-baby-drill won't help us for nearly a decade and even then it's the tiniest of band aids. I want a REAL solution and I want it now. Obama has a 10 year goal. I like that. I like that he's willing to put out timetables that he can be held accountable to.

I love America. I'm very independent and admittedly left of mainstream, so I value freedom. It's what our country was based on; it's what our forefathers fought for; it's what my grandfather fought for. So I cannot vote for those who want to destroy our Constitution and the freedoms granted to us within it. Obama (though more of a moderate than I) has a much more respectful stance towards our Constitution than his opponent . . . reason 5 I'm voting for him.

The economy, jobs, environment & energy, healthcare, and the foundation of our country . . . these are the issues that are important to me. Well, I should say they are the issues that are most important to me.
I was raised Christian in a lower middle-class family in a very small town in mid-Atlantic America. I have taken the values I was raised with (by a staunchly Republican father who taught government & politics in high school and a mother who has been both a Republican and a Democrat) and used them to find my way in politics.
I've taken the compassion and love taught in Christianity and turned that into my desire to help my fellow human. I believe that social programs are essential in this country and a moral obligation. I've taken my upbringing in a lower middle class family in a small town and I've turned that into my desire for jobs to stay here. My home town is really depressed and it's sad. There is potential there but the jobs are gone. I've taken what my father taught me about our government and I LOVE our country, history and politics. I'm amazed at how forward thinking our forefathers were and how amazing a country they were able to create the foundation for - this is my love of Freedom.

I'm voting for Barack Obama.

He's inspiring. His ideas are finally a real change for this country in a direction we need. His plans will help us all. He is authentic, intelligent, and well-spoken. He is presidential.

For more information on his policy or if you question things I've written please visit one or both of these websites:
Barack Obama & Joe Biden 2008
PolitiFact.org

September

I'm a little late with this, but I wanted to write about J's September. It was a big month for him! He reached the 1/2 a year mark mid-month. I can't believe it. And everyone here and in TX kept saying, "Oh six months is such a good age." I know. But those comments only make me sad that he's growing up so fast. I know each stage will have it's pros and will be a good age or fun age or something. I just know to some extent the days of him being happy being held so much will be short-lived. I'm excited about what will replace that but sad too. I try to not to concentrate on either emotion and just enjoy the moment. I think that's why we're already into October and I've not written this.
Starting at the end of August, J had cereal for the first time. We went ahead and started solids a couple weeks "early" for a few reasons. One was that I wanted him either eating them well or not yet eating them at all when we traveled. The second was that he was cutting his first tooth. His bottom right center incisor was the first to erupt. Almost immediately the left showed up too. Now his smile and laugh are even more incredibly cute.
He started with rice cereal and moved on to oatmeal rather quickly. Now he mainly eats oatmeal though I think I will move on to multi-grain or barely soon, just so he has some variety. His first veggie (or fruit technically) was avocado. It didn't need cooked so it was chosen as the first. He liked it after he got over the shock of eating it. Second was broccoli but he hated it (sobbing on day 2) and he had a mild reaction. We abandoned broccoli for fresh sweet corn. He liked that. Now we're finishing up peas, and I have a butternut squash on the counter that I plan to cook today. I'm trying to incorporate his food with ours. So I'm planning to use the squash in our meal tonight as well. We're having butternut squash & apple gratin (and I'm adding fake chicken). I think beets will be next but maybe green beans if I can find some fresh somewhere. If not, I'm not opposed to frozen - the peas were frozen. I also have edamamme and I'm considering trying a legume (maybe lentils).
September also marked J's first plane ride. He did great. He slept and played both ways. He also did pretty well with his schedule being all messed up during vacation. He stayed up late, slept in funny place, and only had a couple meltdowns. I did not do as well. I'm not the best traveler, but by just doing it and forcing myself hopefully I'm helping him to be better with it than I am.
I think he learned to roll over in September, if not it was late August. I should recall these things! I do have a little video so I can go back and look at the date on it. Now he rolls all over and is up on his knees, rocking back and forth with the occasional face planting as he tries to move forward. He's got all the movements, he just needs to coordinate them now. Yesterday he was working quite hard on learning to sit up. He can sit up if you place him in that position but he was learning to get here on his own. He's close. That will mean the crib needs lowered!
We're totally not ready for all this mobility yet! The house isn't ready, the dogs aren't ready (oh that's a blog all on it's own - and not a happy one - stay tuned) - not ready!
too, but with the addition of the fleece he needs on these cool fall nights, it's a bit snug. I think he's just about outgrown it. I'm not sure if we'll get a backpack or not. We'll probably be able to use the We got out his jogging stroller when we returned from TX. He seems to really like it. It's better for all the bumps on the walk and he gets to snuggle in with a blanket. We still use the frontpackfrontpack a few more weeks and that will get us deep into fall and downright cold temps. Then he'll have to be in the stroller, bundled up nice and snug. We'll what we need in the spring.
I have to say, I'm so excited for him to experience every season. While the economy & housing market has made our decision to stay in OH for us, the desire for J to know fall & winter is also making me want to stay here. TX fall & winter is the same season, cool and blah. I think I'd rather have snow! I know he won't really get to enjoy the seasons this year. The next few years he'll get to do a little more each time fall & winter roll around. I have fond memories of those seasons as a child and I want him to have that opportunity too. We'll see how life evolves.

Work

I'm sure there are more than two types of people when it comes to work, but off the top of my head I can only think of two. 1) Live to work types . . . they love their jobs, found their calling, or are simply workaholics. 2) Work to live types . . . they do the job and go home.

I've always been a type 2. I'm glad that when I got into the corporate world and began my life in a cubicle, I had a boss that didn't want us staying late. First it was because we got paid for overtime and there was no budget for that. Then it was simply because we should have been able to get our work done and go home. There was not enough work to become a martyr.
I work to live. I've often wondered if this is just who I am or if it's because I've not found my calling yet. I was undeclared in college. Then I proceeded to get a workstudy job in the career center where I took every personality test I could. I met with each advisor in case I'd have an epiphany with one. It never happened.
As we graduated, everyone seemed to have such a clear idea of the path they were taking. Jobs were secured, and graduate schools entered. I took a part-time job at a veterinary clinic to get the hours I needed for vet school. I ended up hating the job and moved on to the before mentioned cubicle job within 6 months.

I'm lucky to have had the opportunities I have. I call it luck because I have never and still do not know what to do when I grow up. So the fact that I ended up with a skill set that allows me to work from home while raising baby J can only be luck. Maybe it's divine intervention, the universe taking care of me, something other than luck but I guarantee you it's not my own grand plan.
With that being said, finding work is proving harder than I'd hoped. I've seen plenty of people move on to freelance. Many of them secure work immediately and that first contact leads to more and more work. I had hoped the same would happen when I got a job right away. So far it has not led to another. I'm not desperately in need of work, but I may be soon if the dry spell continues.

All in all, I'm trying to look at the bright side and take this slow time as an opportunity. It's an opportunity to do all the things piling up on the back burner that work would not afford me the time to do. Mainly (on the work front at least) my t-shirt business. I have all the specifications done. I've also found a number of artists by asking people here and from hubby D asking at his work. I even had the radical idea to contact a blog writer in the Caribbean (the theme of my line) and ask for referrals - he gave me two! So now I need to contact them. I'm being a bit skittish about it because I really feel like I need to meet with a lawyer first. I need to know I will have no issues owning the artwork produced. I'm not sure if I can copyright artwork I commissioned but did not create - or is that a trademark or maybe it's neither. See, I need legal help. I called someone but they never got back to me. That's on my list of things to do ASAP.
I'm really excited about the shirts and I wonder if years from now I'll look back and see that this lack of work was another bout of pure "luck."

Past is Prologue (modified)

I come from an extremely small town in Western PA. We have a single stoplight at the junction of two state roads, and a blinking light to warn of a blind spot on a busy road. That's it. There is a DQ, and 7-11, and a handful of small businesses. It's no Mayberry - well, maybe a grungier, redneck Mayberry. Many of the residents are former steel workers, at least a generation removed from their farming ancestors.
I graduated with 86 people in my class. Our high school has grade levels 8-12, with no A/P classes and virtually no options to explore ideas, activities or fields (with the exception of Home Ec and Shop classes I guess). There was an uproar when I was a junior I believe because they were restricting who could take Chemistry II. You had to be in the gifted program. Many of us had taken Chem I, did well, were college bound and wanted Chem II but were told no. Why would educator say no to kids who are eager to learn? Why hold us back like that? It's beyond me. I had two teachers that were wonderful. My biology teacher really prepared me for college work, and our English teacher was extremely difficult but taught me a ton (She made me actually like diagramming sentences!). I could fill another blog on the other teachers and their less than stellar teaching.

Needless to say I was in for a culture shock going to college, in a "city." (Well, Erie is technically PA's 3rd largest city though by most standards it's tiny. My college was downtown though and it was still drastically different than my little town.) I went to a small Catholic college and continued along a pretty conservative path.
Senior year I had an honors class with a Jesuit priest. He'd been an activist for pacifism for decades. Our class was essentially critical thinking - that's it. How awesome is a class that just wants you to think . . . think critically, think outside the box, think for yourself, THINK. Father Susa changed me. I did start thinking. I started to become the Shannon all of you know. I took my Catholic upbringing and used that sense of right and wrong to think about the world.
Surprisingly (well, to me then - not to me now) I ended up moving farther and farther from conservative politics. I was seeing the conservative message in our government not mirroring the Christan teachings I'd been raised with. As I neared my first "real" presidential election, I was really torn. Hindsight is 20/20, but at the time I could not vote for the lesser of what I thought were two evils so I voted 3rd party. Ugh. So my vote helped OH go to Bush because I voted for Nader. And pair that with the state of FL handed to him by his cronies, and ouch we have the last 8 years of horror.
This election had farther reaching effects than forcing me to be more aware about politics, the politicians, and the decisions I make regarding them. Seeing the family values tour of the Bush Administration made me question Christianity.

I was very active in the 2004 campaign. I was shocked that Bush was re-elected. I didn't understand how his lies, ENORMOUS government (and debt), and destruction of our constitution was okay with so many people. My mom said 'you can't change presidents in the middle of a war.' Well, since we didn't we still have a war now and guess what - we're changing presidents one way or another. Yes we can! :) It's amazing how Change, which has been the cornerstone of Obama's platform since the very beginning, has now been adopted by McCain. Hmmm.
Last night I watched the Biden/Palin debate. I have to say I'm insulted by Palin. They call Obama an elitist but I find Palin and her group the same. They look down their noses on those of us who worked hard to educate ourselves. Maybe we really like to learn, really like school, or simply followed the rules our parents put forth and continued with our education. Again, I'm brought back to my small town where it was deemed the right thing to do to keep students from learning and advancing by denying them opportunities. I guess then the fact that our schools rank so low compared to other countries isn't a big selling point for the Palin fans. Who needs education!?!?
Sometimes I feel like common sense no longer exists.
Rich Republicans call Democrats elitist. People using government programs vote for the party that will reduce or remove those programs. People in favor of a small government and fiscal responsibility create the largest government & debt ever. Christians traditionally vote Red, a party that breaks the commandments AND wallows in the seven deadly sins . . . not to mention their complete disregard of the greatest commandment. Love your neighbors as yourself.

I had not planned to end the original blog in such an angry and Palin (vague) manner. And my issue here isn't actually with common sense. I'm really confused and upset over the idea that education is not good. That education makes you an elitest who thinks you are better than others. I resent that. And I don't understand why we want our president to be Joe Sixpack. Do we want our doctors to also be Joe Sixpack?
I used to naively think these politicans were just crazy. I knew no Joe Sixpacks who hated educated people or education in general. But then I realized not only did I know them I was related to them. A few years ago I responded to a political email (one of those forwards) that was sent to all my family from a family member. While the email was mean spirited, I didn't take it that the sender was and neither was my response. I simply said, hey! I fit most of those catgories guys. The response I got (not from the sender) was vicious. I was attacked in part for being educated. What? I was floored. My attacker was really blood related to me? Did they not realize I was following a rule set by their sibling, my parent?
So I don't take kindly to being made to believe as an educated person I am an elitist, that I look down on people, that I want my government to tax everyone to within an inch of their life. I care about my family, my friends, my neighbors, my fellow citizens . . . of the world. I only want to see people everyday people like my friends, family, coworkers and neighbors get what they need and have a chance at their idea of the American dream. Every single Democrat I've ever met shares those ideals.

Rent or Own

I'm a follow the rules kind of girl. I never wanted to admit that but it's true and everyone who knows me know that. So I did well in school, went to college, got married, got a job and then a house. It's the American dream, right?
So here I am. We've been in our home for over 9 years now. Fortunately that was before all the predatory lending, though even then we were qualified for more than we could afford and would have been encouraged to spend.
We looked at fewer houses that we probably should have and fewer than we would have liked. We also didn't see houses in some areas of the city that we now wish our agent had introduced to us. Sometimes we second guess our choice, even 9 years later. Sometimes we still get frustrated that for this to be our dream house we'd have to pour even more money into it.
Don't get me wrong. We've done a lot of work and we love our house. We'd love it more on a quieter street, farther from a railroad crossing, or without our current neighbors. Our house has become a warm, comfortable and relaxing home. The first few years it was a house, but yes now it is a home.

Earlier this week, I received a link to an article touting renting over owning. I have to say it was food for thought. Can a rental feel like home? I think so. Can you find one roomy enough? Of course, and isn't simplifying a good thing too?

I was surprised by my reaction to the article. I'm always on realtor.com looking at homes in this area and other cities. Could I rent? Is it feasible? Would I be happy? Surprisingly I think I could and would.
The article points out that people pour lots of money into their homes and often the increase in equity only keeps up with spending. So when you sell your home you often do not get anymore than what you put into it. So it's not a good investment. If you rent but put all that money into something in which you earn interest you come out farther ahead. (The article doesn't simplify it quite so much of course.) It's an interesting idea.
After being in our house for 9yrs in a city that avoided the sharp increase (and hence the decrease) in housing prices. So the equity we now have in our house IS almost exactly what we've put into it with upgrades. Hmmm.

Honestly, part of why I'm willing to consider renting in the future is my recent rip to Texas. My sister-in-law recently moved into a brand new apartment complex. It was modern (open concept, stained concrete floors) and beautiful. If it had an additional bedroom and allowed pets (maybe it does) I could be sold!

Focus

I'm lacking focus. I cannot seem to really focus on writing. I've had time over the past few days where I could have been writing here but instead all I did was think about my dear little blog. I'm not sure what to write about. I'm even having trouble writing this.
Trouble. The trouble is not a lack of desire to write but more of a block. I know I'll get here and end up with a little update. I might as well call this a list of lists instead of a blog.
I'll admit part of the problem is audience. I'm not sure I even have an audience let alone who they are and why they're reading. That's only a fraction of the issue though because my posts have rarely been related to or spurred by an audience. I've considered republicizing my blog with potentially new readers. Then I feel like I'd actually have to commit to writing though. And I'd need a focus with which to lure them.
The obvious focus would be J. I spend the vast majority of my day tending to his needs and interacting with him. I could easily write a blog all about him, and I've considered that as a viable option. I'm not exactly keeping up with the baby book so having a blog to refer back to for important things would be nice. Well, because of course someday I'm going to write all that down!
But I'm not just mommy. I've only been mommy in fact for 6 months and while it is all consuming now, I'm still me. Surely I can find grown-up things to write about, but honestly past pop culture and politics I'm not sure what that would be. I have a tendency to drift into whining and that wouldn't increase the size of the audience.
I feel like I've been battling this blog nearly since it began. I loved it when I had my travel blog. It was focused. I felt good about what I was saying though I still don't believe I had much of an audience. But THIS blog has been a horse of a different color. It's not been a source of much of anything positive for me though it has potential. With that being said, I just can't say good-bye to it quite yet. Instead, I will again tell it, myself, and my audience that I'll write more often and better.
Oh yeah, and I should also mention - I take this way too seriously!