Friday, March 18, 2011

money back guarantee

I'm still here and still doing P90x! I realize hiding outside the realm of blogdom so no one could find out I quit DOES sound like me. However, no, that's not the case. I've actually been busy, really busy. We left the day after the last blog entry and spent four days in Pennsylvania, mainly Pittsburgh, to celebrate my mom's birthday.
D did a ton better than me in keeping with the fat shredder portion of P90's nutritional plan. The first night at dinner I lasted about 10 minutes in the presence of soft pretzels before they had to be mine. Otherwise though I had salmon and the next night was simply veggies & tofu so I didn't do horribly but I didn't do great. We were also unable to do the workouts though we'd hoped we could. Bleh. But we came home and got back on the wagon, well for a few days. We had 2 birthday parties, one was at our house for J and then strep hit. What a mess. So we've really had only two half weeks instead of two full weeks. Yeah, there goes our money back guarantee.
With that said, we do keep going back and pushing play. We do our best, and forget the rest. We're still going - and D is still doing better. I really love how easy it is for guys to lose weight. That's totally awesome. I really like to continually hear about the downward spiral of the scale. In exchange I retain water, that's how I roll. Clearly the difference is annoying, but I'm not letting it get to me this time, at least not yet. Really.


In other news, my baby is three! He seems like such a big boy . . . nearly potty trained now, taking a swim class without me, refusing to use his booster seat, and using his imagination all the time! I'm just glad he still likes to cuddle. I love that with me he decides we'll be cats or birds - I'm the momma and he's the baby and we're in our nest cuddling. Love it.
What else do I love? Yes, carbs but I was thinking something other than food. Spring! I have crocus that are blooming as well as both daffodil and allium about to bloom. It's 68 degrees, and though I'm writing this with strep, sick and in bed, I have all the windows in the house open to enjoy this year's first, full day of spring. I think my meds are working, and I hope tomorrow it's still warm so I can enjoy it a bit. I might have to get outside and run - turning tomorrow into a double!

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Yeah! Yoga!

I was really nervous about P90x. Then I was really annoyed by having to change what I eat. Finally, I was simply overwhelmed with this being added to my already over-flowing plate. In addition to the four "events" I'm planning over the next couple months, and my work to get work, I'm also still involved in all my pet projects AND thought now would be a good time to start potty training a certain little man.
Between potty training and P90x, I have landed upon an unlikely mantra, 'It's always darkest before dawn." It seems like just as I'm about to drown myself in a toilet, J has a break through. And just as I'm getting negative about P90x (yep, already), I have an awesome workout.

Last night was Shoulders & Arms and I was less than enthusiastic. I was actually contemplating bailing on Ab Ripper after the arms workout . . . yes, feeling that negative. Well, I've got to say I really liked the Shoulder & Arm workout! I felt really strong, and I'm not sore at all - yet. I'm doing lighter weight but higher reps because I'm not looking to add bulk anywhere. Still, I'm not wussing out either with the weight. I stuck with it and did Ab Ripper too, and it was just as difficult as the first time. I can't wait to see those 6-pack abs I surely have, hibernating maybe a little more than "just" below the surface.
I feel like I'm starting to hit a groove though. I'm not as cranky about the food, and I'm not craving carbs. I'm really excited about yoga tonight too. I know it will be intense - I've already watched the video in preparation. Still, I'm looking forward to it. I won't lie, I'm really looking forward to Savasana. I've been wanting to get back into yoga - and here it is. Yeah! Yoga!

Sunday, March 06, 2011

chocolate croissants consume my thoughts

Most weeks J and I share a breakfast treat one day. In the summer it's Saturdays during the farmer's market, but in the winter it fluctuates. Usually once a week though we share a chocolate croissant. Our favorite is from Le Chatelaine but we often have to settle for Whole Foods' version. I woke up this morning thinking about these and I almost sent D out for some. But then I remembered . . . egg whites. I'm supposed to have egg whites. Gag.
I seem to have fooled a number of people into thinking I have amazing will power. Ha! I have very little when it comes to food at least. I miss my croissant. I have pondered it. I eventually came to the conclusion that I deserve one. I mean, it's part of my constitutional right as it's clearly pivotal to my pursuit of happiness.
I made the stupid egg whites but they were nearly inedible. I finally managed to eat them, without gagging, by putting them on an English muffin with some soy sausage. The latter are both listed in the meal plan example I have so I'm not cheating. It was more a comedy of errors at the stove that made the eggs vile. I don't hate eggs, but I don't love them and I'm particular about how they are prepared. Overall a chocolate croissant is far easier and more delicious.

If you read the last entry, you know I'm starting P90x. We did our fit test last night and decided to start on the meal plan this morning. The first month's meal suggestions are very Atkins-like. That will be hard for me. I feel like I eat pretty well, however I do love carbs. I think I can do it with a few adjustments (i.e. chocolate snacks & chai tea). I need to be spoiled, even if I'm the only one doing the spoiling. I think I'll do better on mornings D is not around. I may have outdone him on the fit test, but he has a lot more will power with food. Apparently things don't have to taste good for him to eat them - and consistency isn't an issue either. Ugh.
I got online this morning to check out the P90x community I was told existed. You know, I understand selling P90x drinks, bars, supplements, etc and claiming they are they ones to have. But to have your website structured to charge for community support seems just wrong. It's an additional $3 a week for the blog, videos, recipes and more. Seriously?!? That's annoying, even for an infomercial product.
I was also annoyed to see that the free calculator/wizard said I should be eating 1300 calories on this plan. WHAT?!?! Ah yeah, I could eat that many calories while sitting on the cough in front of soaps and lose weight. I'm pretty certain I was well above that calorie count when I was doing Weight Watchers . . . where I successfully lost over 25 pounds, meeting my goal and becoming a lifetime member. But I'm doing this for more than weight loss. I want to be in shape and have muscle definition. I had already been thinking about adding lifting back into my repertoire because my arms are getting flabby. So this makes sense to me, for now. I should also note that I'll be in the Virgin Islands in the next few months and I do recall my previous photos on the beach. I would have to destroy any photographic evidence if I went in my current "condition."

But back to positivity, my fit test went well last night. I only failed one part - the jumping jacks. My calves cramped up so I did a modified version. Considering how hardcore this program is going to be, I labeled that as a failure. In Tony Horton speak 'I'm currently struggling with' jumping jacks. On the bright side, I did nearly 3x the number of pull-ups as the minimum, and I blew past the minimum for curls as well as in & outs. I feel ready. I think it's good to start the program feeling good and positive. I'm glad the fit test has gotten me into that state-of-mind.
After the fit test we watched a couple of the DVDs to see what was coming. I like to have all the information and know what's coming. Good thing too, because we figured out we need to re-work our pull-up bar. D is going to the hardware store today. We also learned we need more weights - well weight options.
We'll see how I feel tomorrow. Tonight is Chest & Back as well as Ab Ripper. Yikes. I haven't watched the Ab one yet so I'll likely do that this afternoon. I NEED to know ahead of time what horror awaits. Stay tuned. I suspect the next entry may be comically different than this.


Fickle

I looked for a good quote using "fickle," but I couldn't find anything suitable. Many of the quotes used the word to, rightly in my opinion, describe the collective consciousness of a mass of people (particularly with politics, fame, pop culture). I was looking for a quote that read more like a confession. I would not say I'm normally fickle, but with this blog, yeah, I'm hot and I'm cold; I'm yes and I'm no.

A friend (you know who you are) sent me a rather old article yesterday, which I read and enjoyed, Caring for your Introvert. I think everyone who knows me knows I'm an introvert but if not - there you have it! I'm on the more social end of the spectrum these days, but I'm no extrovert. Until reading this, I had never considered the idea that the world is run by extroverts, and hence extrovert qualities are desired. However, I have experienced that! I have wished I could become an extrovert and change the entire basis of myself.
For being myself, again an introvert, I've also often been asked "what's wrong" or told I should appear happier and more outgoing ("why don't you smile"). Beyond that though I've also been wrongly labled as "haughty" and even bitchy because I'm introverted. The article suggests that extroverts don't understand us but I'd like to go farther . . . many introverts don't seem to understand either because some of the labeling and misunderstanding I've encountered is from them!

Why mention this? Well, this clearly affects my blogging, in that I always think before I speak (or write) and I don't want to share all my thoughts or feelings with people. The combination leads to a lack of blogging topics or at least unauthentic writing. Sometimes I read what I've written, and think 'I'm a better writer than this; how embarrassing,' so I delete it all.

I'm not upset at the continual evolution of this blog. I'm not looking to find a particular audience for this, nor will I monetize it. So evolution is fine. I mean I'm evolving as a person so it makes sense. I plan to abandon recipes here. I don't enjoy taking bad photos any more than I enjoy posting poorly written entries. I can do nice food shots, but I really hate dragging out my studio lights to photograph my dinner before I eat it. I'm hungry!
Adoption updates . . . I wanted to chronicle our adoption process here. Well, I guess I had hoped there wouldn't be this long period of waiting, or perhaps I didn't realize I'd have so little to say while waiting. I'll still post any update I have, but at this point they seem few and far between.
I plan to update my travel blog after some upcoming adventures. I'll also make sure it's up-to-date with past trips. So be sure to check that every so often. I'll likely link to it from here though so don't worry. I hope to keep my writing blog updated as well. I feel like I have zero audience over there, but I like that. It's also very focused. I think this blog could use more focus, or re-focus.

The newest incarnation of this blog will mainly be anecdotal. In addition to tidbits about daily life, I'll mainly be documenting my progress on P90x. (gulp) Yeah, I've been talked into doing it. My couch-to-5k program is taking longer than it should (that's an understatement). Having a buddy may have helped with that, and for P90x I will have one. D got the program and really wants to do it. How can I sit and snack during primetime TV while he's working out and getting ripped? I don't expect, or necessarily want, the latter but overall I feel like I should try the program as well.

More to come!