nervous nelly

How my poor heart aches
with every step you take

It seems like nearly everyday J is learning something new. It's exciting, but bittersweet also. Yesterday morning I awoke to J awake & squawking as usual. But when I looked at the monitor to assess if I really needed to get up yet or not, what I saw caused me to leap out of bed with shock. It was nothing bad, just a surprise. J had rolled over onto his belly. Now he's doing it all the time. Unlike rolling onto his back from his belly, this he loves. He spent quite awhile on his mat this morning rolling around and seemingly loving it. This afternoon I caught him getting up on his arms & toes for a moment and other times today up on his knees. Crawling is not too far off now. He's so different than even a month ago or for that matter 2 weeks ago. He notices his toys, he gives hugs, he's much more interactive with us now, and of course there's the rolling.

Soon he'll be on an airplane for the first time. I'm rather nervous about it. I get stressed when he cries in Half Price Books so crying in a flying metal tube with God knows how many other passengers, well that's about more than I can take. I've already begun to stress out subconsciously. I'm great at convincing myself that by doing an Excel spreadsheet for both J & I (of what to pack of course) and making lists of what we need to purchase are things that help me not only prepare but remain calm. No. It just keeps me busy mentally and physically so I don't dwell, but deep down it's already lurking. I know because I've had a stomach ache for 3 days now. I blamed it on the vitamins I took that one random day, but I know better. My neck hurts from the stress lingering in my shoulders.
In comparison to the flight, the actual stay out-of-town in a home with both a 3yr old and 2yr old is nothing. Well, almost nothing. I do worry a little about J's sleeping arrangements and if curious toddlers will cause any interruptions. I also worry a little about 2nd daycare germs but that's part of why I'm still nursing. After all that comes the naps - we've spent all week getting J used to napping in his crib. On the 4th day he caught on and is doing really well now. Let's hope that lasts with all the running around we'll surely be doing.
Oy vey! I sure did inherit the worry gene. Not exactly straight from grandma considering my dad has it too, and I believe he shares it with his sister (and I with her daughter). Well, no alcohol or Xanax while nursing so I'll have to settle for some ice cream.