I suggest you meditate on the theme of exile. Here are some questions to get you started. 1. Have you ever been shunned by people you care about? 2. Do you know what it's like to unwillingly leave a place that has made you feel safe and secure? 3. Can you remember the desolation that came over you when you found yourself wandering in the middle of nowhere? 4. Has it been a challenge to connect with your tribe or be at peace in the land that makes you feel at home in the world? Whatever your exile is, Virgo, the coming weeks will be an excellent time to figure out how to heal it.
That is my Freewill Astrology for this week. I like it. I often like them and I used to check them weekly. I've been forgetful and lax since leaving my job. I have a schedule now but my schedule then was all about me and so I remembered things like my horoscope. Let me answer the questions for everyone - why not.
1) Yes. I used to think I was the black sheep of my family. I don't anymore. Where I was different and always odd girl out, now we're all different. And during my black-sheepdom I was not shunned. The shunning came later for a brief time. It was a ridiculous matter and I won't go into it further but to be shunned is painful, especially for something ridiculous.
2) Yes. I'm stronger than I know and more fragile than I'd like. We moved when I was in second grade, in the middle of the school year. I went from a neighborhood with kids I'd known since birth to a rural area with no friends. I used to walk out of my door and have kids all around and one day there was no one. Just cold, desolate fields. It took me having the realization late in middle school that a friend who had moved there years after me had adapted better and faster. I was still considering myself "new" in the close knit school. 'Cmon, I realized, I'd been there since 2nd grade! I'm slow to adapt sometimes though I try harder now.
3) Nope. I don't recall wandering in the middle of nowhere. I'm racking my brain to think of a time or place. I've been to some remote parts of Utah but I was not alone and felt more awe than desolation.
4) A resounding yes. Connect with my tribe? Regardless of what you consider your tribe, what I consider mine is not in one place and impossible to connect with physically. Not being physically near one another makes maintaining connectedness extremely difficult.
At peace in the land that makes me feel at home in the world? Ugh. I don't know where that is! This is a struggle for me and has been for years. I have recently written about part of this - the internal flip-flopping I do over staying here or moving to TX (when in fact the decision won't be mine anyway so why stress). I very much want to find this part of the world or succumb to making where I'm at now this place. This is a process, and one that more than anything needs my offering of patience.
None of the above exiles are the one my horoscope immediately brought to mind. My current exile is myself or the separation/loss/change/departure of myself. Where am I? There don't seem to be enough hours in the day to find me, nurture me, entertain me, develop me, nourish me, or anything me.
I know these horoscopes are self-fulling prophecies (if you choose to fulfill them - hence the freewill aspect), and I love them because they are written in a way to make you think. This one I felt. I felt the exile immediately and recognized that yes, I do need to heal.
It's not going to be easy. I've tried before. I've done the 1 step forward 2 steps back thing. I really need to commit and make, well, myself a priority. Time will have to be carved out and I'll have to adapt. I should really be excited to meet the me I find on the other side of exile. I think I am.
1) Yes. I used to think I was the black sheep of my family. I don't anymore. Where I was different and always odd girl out, now we're all different. And during my black-sheepdom I was not shunned. The shunning came later for a brief time. It was a ridiculous matter and I won't go into it further but to be shunned is painful, especially for something ridiculous.
2) Yes. I'm stronger than I know and more fragile than I'd like. We moved when I was in second grade, in the middle of the school year. I went from a neighborhood with kids I'd known since birth to a rural area with no friends. I used to walk out of my door and have kids all around and one day there was no one. Just cold, desolate fields. It took me having the realization late in middle school that a friend who had moved there years after me had adapted better and faster. I was still considering myself "new" in the close knit school. 'Cmon, I realized, I'd been there since 2nd grade! I'm slow to adapt sometimes though I try harder now.
3) Nope. I don't recall wandering in the middle of nowhere. I'm racking my brain to think of a time or place. I've been to some remote parts of Utah but I was not alone and felt more awe than desolation.
4) A resounding yes. Connect with my tribe? Regardless of what you consider your tribe, what I consider mine is not in one place and impossible to connect with physically. Not being physically near one another makes maintaining connectedness extremely difficult.
At peace in the land that makes me feel at home in the world? Ugh. I don't know where that is! This is a struggle for me and has been for years. I have recently written about part of this - the internal flip-flopping I do over staying here or moving to TX (when in fact the decision won't be mine anyway so why stress). I very much want to find this part of the world or succumb to making where I'm at now this place. This is a process, and one that more than anything needs my offering of patience.
None of the above exiles are the one my horoscope immediately brought to mind. My current exile is myself or the separation/loss/change/departure of myself. Where am I? There don't seem to be enough hours in the day to find me, nurture me, entertain me, develop me, nourish me, or anything me.
I know these horoscopes are self-fulling prophecies (if you choose to fulfill them - hence the freewill aspect), and I love them because they are written in a way to make you think. This one I felt. I felt the exile immediately and recognized that yes, I do need to heal.
It's not going to be easy. I've tried before. I've done the 1 step forward 2 steps back thing. I really need to commit and make, well, myself a priority. Time will have to be carved out and I'll have to adapt. I should really be excited to meet the me I find on the other side of exile. I think I am.
1 comment:
I think it's sometimes hard to find yourself, or hear yourself, when you're in the middle of lots of changes. Or maybe I'm thinking about it the wrong way. Maybe when you're being tossed around by new things, that's when you see yourself most clearly, it's just unrecognizable so you don't realize that it's really you? Or maybe the Nepali air is making me a little crazy : )
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