moved & settled but not unpacked

I should take a pic of my new view from here.  I used to have my computer in the 
living room looking out across my front porch onto the busy road.  It was nice to 
see the world whirling about.  Now though I look out onto a tree lined street that 
every now and then has a runner or walker or a car (a car not 20 cars).  I look 
forward to walking those sidewalks myself.  I hope it's soon.  Between the rain 
and the boxes, strewn throught the house, garage and basement, a family walk 
just hasn't happened yet.

We can still hear a train here too, but it's about 4 miles away I'd guess.  It's the 
nice haunting train sound that carries on still summer nights - wonderful.  No 
more blaring whistle, shaking windows, or revving cars stopped in front of the 
house.  It's so very quiet here.  I can hear the scrape of a shovel against concrete 
about half a block away, granted my windows are open.  

Yes - my windows are open!  I miss being able to have my windows open all day 
whenever the temperature outside permits.  The old house was too close to the 
road and way too much exhaust found it's way inside, not mention the noise issue.  
Here it's just air and quiet.  I really love it.

So I love the location, but I like the house too.  We're not in love yet.  It's like an 
arranged marriage I suppose.  We've accepted our relationship and look forward 
to growing closer throughout the years.  Of course it could turn out badly, but at 
least I plan to put quite a bit of effort into the relationship so hopefully love is 
where we end up much sooner than later.  There's just quite a bit of updating 
that needs done.  It seems like each day we realize the extent.  Yesterday while 
mowing the yard D discovered that back in the 6 feet of brush behind the house 
the cable & phone lines are balled up above ground.  I suppose I would not have 
wanted to dig around back there either.  So now D has to call them to come out 
once he has it all thinned out, or bury it himself.  Things like that pop up here 
and there but it's nothing major.  The only major issue may be the kitchen.  
We had planned to reface the cabinets at some point but we suspect they are a 
lesser quality than we first thought.  So we may have to replace them.  Besides, 
I hate corner cabinets!  HATE them.  What do you do with them?  I mean if you 
have stuff that is never used and is hidden back there shouldn't those items just 
be gone?  I don't want kitchen clutter hiding in the corners.

Alright, sorry, back to skipping and humming about the wonderfulness of this 
new place.  I'm not sure what else to coo about specifically.  I mean the layout is 
wonderful.  It's a sprawling (by our standards) ranch which allows J to run and 
run and run.   He seems to really enjoy that.  Even with all the boxes I've managed 
to baby proof a good bit and plan to have the entire house J-proof as I continue to 
unpack and de-clutter.  If my boxes of who knows what could read this would be 
their official warning . . . clutter be gone!  I plan to be ruthless with each and every box!  

There is a Season - Turn, Turn, Turn

I think we found our dream house.  Is it weird that I have a hard time saying that out loud in my current home?  It's treated us so well, I don't want it to feel bad.  Then I come to my senses.  Our house is over a 100 years old and has houses lots of families; our family is only one in a long string.  407 West Will is likely ready for us to move on too.  It has been a great home - and through baby J's eyes I see how cool it really is.  The traffic and train both irk me but his favorite word is "car" and he'll drop what he's doing to go watch the train come through.  What I'll miss most are my beautiful hardwood floors.  What I'll miss least is the neighborhood, or lack thereof.  

The new house is old - 1973 custom build.  Having had only one owner it's full of retro, ahem charm we'll call it.  Some of this charm will remain like tiled kitchen backsplash in a color that seems to be a mix of harvest gold and avocado green.  Some of the retro touches will be updated, two words:  wood paneling.  Lansdowne is bigger and quieter but I am concerned that J will have no action to watch considering there is little traffic and the windows though normal sized are tiny compared to our floor to ceiling windows here.  I'm so excited though.  I can't wait to walk the neighborhood, or access the city bike path nearly just outside our door.  I can't wait to be 10 minutes from everything instead of 30!  We're closer to D's work, and to my favorite local escape, Highbanks MetroPark.  

We close on both houses in just over two weeks.  All inspections and appraisals seem to be going smoothly.  We've moved on to getting quotes on painting and fencing.  We spent part of this past week appliance shopping and I have a stack of paint chips nearly as think as my copy of Twilight.  We haven't entered the period of stress yet.  Once the packing begins though - ugh, I'll keep that thought for another day.

I've been trying to write about this for some time but I can't quite get the feelings across and I'm quite tired of the lifeless postings here.  Below are some started and never finished posts on the same topic - each gives a few more details on the past month.

Summer Switch-up . . . 

The good news is that we got our wish - house sold within 30 days!  We weren't sure it was going to happen in fact we were pretty sure it wasn't.  We'd had only 4 showings in 30 days and were in the process of switching agents when it happened.  In fact, the evening we had our new agent over and were signing papers was the same evening our old agent stopped to pick-up his sign and key (awkward - they were there at the same time too).

Summer Saturday . . . 

It's a lovely rainy summer Saturday.  I only wish I could hear it - it being the rain of course.  Instead I'm hearing J squawk through his monitor as he keeps sleep at arm's length.  Once he quiets I'll still hear the blowing A/C right next to me.  One thing I hope to have in our new house is the ability to open all the windows and enjoy the outside air, even if it is warm enough to warrant using the A/C instead.  Here we live too close to the busy road and I'd rather have A/C than exhaust and soot which I find on my front porch so I know it would end up in my home if the windows were open.

We close on a new house in just a couple weeks.  It was the only stand-out of houses online that we knew we'd like.  We looked at it the first night of our four days of house hunting.  I loved it right away; it made me smile.  I could see us living there easily.  However, it was obviously out of our price range.  After getting a bit more information, including the fact the vacant house had been on the market all last year, we decided it didn't hurt to put in a low offer and have back-ups for the good possibility that we could not get into our price range.  Not only was our offer accepted (without a counter) but they've also agreed to all our conditions (including repair requests).  

We close at the end of July!

missing people who aren't real

I'm sitting here feeling melancholy, listening to someone's music playlist.  My ipod is neither nearby or charged so this will have to do though I must say it's not nearly as inspiring as options I'd choose off my own list.  I have found a couple new artists though as a bright side.  On the flip side, I think these songs are adding to the melancholy.  I'm just melancholy enough to think today is surely Sunday though I know it's not; it's Monday.  Funny, that I prefer a day that is synonymous with bad to the supposedly carefree and relaxing Sunday.  

I've met some new friends recently.  They're imaginary.  Like the music, they don't belong to me either. And now they've gone on their way to live their lives in someone's space.  Even with the mocking I've taken from family and friends I'll miss them and I hope someday they enter my life again though I know it will be short-lived.

With this departure I've decided I need a rebound.  I'm not too familiar with rebounds though so I'm certain my methodology is beyond flawed.  I've moved on to some of THEIR favorites rather than delving into something that would have been mine.  I'm hoping to make another new friend or to at least enjoy a change of scenery.

THIS is exactly why I read non-fiction to begin with, so I should have seen it coming.  It's my own fault.  THIS is why I read about real people who are flawed regardless of how good they are.  I don't think I've ever become enthralled let alone obsessed over a real person, their life or the people in their life.  I mean, really, that would be crazy and potentially illegal.  But I can't help myself with some fictional characters.  I'm a character junkie - I'll read any crap plot you hand me if you develop the characters well enough.  I'm guessing it's got something to do with my imagination.  I must let it run in a different way when I read fiction than when I read nonfiction.

Perhaps the brightest part of the bright side of this is my renewed interest in not only reading, but writing.  I have not written for years.  I think I had the desire to write scared out of me in a small town in Colorado.  That was too long ago, and I keep saying I will use this blog to write more, or write better, but instead I don't use it at all.  So perhaps instead of, or better yet in addition to reading Ms. Austen, I should dust off The Portable MFA, Read like a Writer, or even just my dog ravaged copy of Bird by Bird.  I even went to the Columbus State website last night to see what fall classes they'd be offering.  Luckily the fall quarter class schedule is not up yet; it's for the best.  This will give me time to be sure this is nothing fleeting, but instead the rekindling of my relationship with writing - no rebound required.

springtime favorite

If there is one thing I over buy for J it's books.  I'm sure he could happily keep reading the same books but I get bored and there are SOOOO many books out there I just cannot resist.  I especially love TJ Maxx because they are the price of used books but in better shape.  Not that all used books are in horrible shape - I definitely buy a good deal from Half Price Books too.  Kids can just be so hard on books though that the used ones often show a bit of wear and I don't have an issue with that other than they will fall apart sooner once J gets a hold of them.  He doesn't chew them, thankfully, but he is rough on them all the same.  He has no concept of front/back cover and often tries to close the book in the wrong spot.  Another great source for books is Amazon because they often run sales on books if bought in 4s.  I think the sale was if you buy 3 the 4th is free and if you do that twice then you also qualify for free shipping!  That was quite a score for the holidays and his birthday but a bit excessive for an everyday purchase (even for me).

What about the library you ask?  Not yet.  When he is older and reading on his own we'll become frequent visitors to the library.  I have gained a new appreciation for libraries in the past year.  I had not taken advantage of the wonderful resource they are since probably middle school when my mother would take us to Westminster College's library.  They had an awesome children's section complete with a fort!  I am not embarrassed at all to admit that even in middle school I had as much fun in that fort as my much younger siblings.  I loved to climb up on top with a few books and spend a good bit of time deciding which in my pile would make the cut and come home with me that week.

This winter I found a book at Half Price Books that J never really took to, but I continued to read it to him anyway because it was MY favorite.  I loved the artwork - absolutely loved it.  I wrote about it a few months ago and if you don't remember take a look at it here.

Over vacation one of our bags was 3 days late in arriving.  It apparently wanted a separate vacation in Miami and St. Thomas.  J's bedtime reads were in it so we found a book on St. John for him.  It is my new favorite and this time J likes it too!  It's called the Secret Seahorse.  It's definitely a book I can see him growing with because right now he just gets the basics.  In time he'll see it's actually a hide and seek book . . . looking for the seahorse of course.  

For me, I love the artwork.  The winter book I loved the artwork also and wanted to live in it.  This book, I want to re-create the artwork.  The entire book is felt applique of different underwater scenes and various underwater creatures complete with coral, a shipwreck, and sparkly sequin fish scales!  

Photos are from the book ‘Secret Seahorse’ Stella Blackstone & Calre Beaton/Barefoot Books

toys

Where do vintage toys go exactly?  Are they buried deep within landfills?  How is it I can find vintage furniture, cars, flooring and fabric but barely any toys anywhere except apparently in Switzerland?  I'm going to have to investigate the exchange rate for "chf."  

Maybe I'm just being nostalgic but many of J's toys are built for the destiny of those vintage toys.  My toys were so much sturdier.  I wish my mother had saved more items . . . my treehouse for one.  I have wonderful memories of playing with that.  Secondly would be my shopping cart which I would love to have for J.  The third item is Ollie though he was sort of saved and died years later from the elements in his storage area.  My Ollie had wheels unlike the earlier version.  Last but not least is my Kermit the frog.  I have been given replacements but none of them are quite the same and the hands do not velcro like my old kermit.  

I guess I should consider this as I determine the fate of J's toys.  However, like I said before his toys are to some extent not build well.  Maybe I need to pull aside the few that are and save them?  Or perhaps my parents thought the same thing of my toys compared to theirs and I must stop the cycle!  There is a fine line between saving and hoarding and I only have so much space.  I can't keep everything nor do I want to be tied to that stuff.  

What preschool toy do you have fond memories of, and are you lucky enough to still have it?

some are silver and some are gold

I could move to Dallas.  I'm ready.  I find it interesting that I say that normally after two things . . . visits there and holidays away from there.  The rest of the time (especially early winter and all of autumn) I'm more than happy (yes more than) to stay put here in Ohio.  It's a frustrating see-saw, especially since the only way we'd move to Dallas is if D applied for and got a promotion.  So it's really a moot point that I need not consider as it's not really on the radar right now.  So why bring it up?  In part because we just returned from a trip there and it's fresh in my mind.  My sister-in-law's neighborhood has 9 houses for sale (4 on her street) and most could potentially be in our price range.  

There are definitely negatives to a move to Texas - a move that is by no means on the radar or happening any time soon but for which I feel the need to obsess and blog about.  It's hot down there and it's red - as in too freakin' conservative.  The schools aren't great though there are some that are apparently superb (Southlake comes to mind for one).  However not to ruffle any feathers of my six readers, but I don't want J taught stories in science - I want him taught science.  Back to weather though, it never snows in Dallas and I like the snow, at least for the first four weeks or so around the holidays.  I also really love autumn with it's crisp air and melancholy colors.  Last but not least, while I enjoy visiting Texas I don't have a lot of friends there.  I have one friend, 2 sister-in-laws, one cousin my age and 3 significantly younger.  

With that said there are negatives to Ohio too and the whole "I have no friends" issue with Texas isn't that much different here.  I have a bunch of "friends" on Facebook but even the activity on there mirrors real life.  As in there is no activity on there with or from my "friends" and in real-life I rarely see or talk to more than a couple of said friends.  So I guess the friend issue is a draw.  It does allow me to segue from my nonsense writing about a move south to, well to friendship I guess.

I have to say I'm not terribly outgoing.  I always tell D that being outgoing is a trait not a learned action but secretly I suspect that's false and just a cop out.  It's just a scary proposition to make an attempt to be more outgoing.  I'd rather get over a fear of spiders or tight spaces through systematic desensitisation than work to be more outgoing.  I wouldn't say I'm shy; I'm just slow to open up to people so I come off as cold (to say the least).  I would say the fact that I tend to find myself in friendships in which I do all the work is probably fueling the fire.  I don't know.  Maybe I can look at the friendships that are not one-way and learn something from them for going forward?  

Funny.  Funny to me at least.  Just last year I was considering joining a mom's group and didn't.  I wanted to join for J so he could play with other kids.  I was stressing because of the social interaction I'd be forced into with the mom's.  I wasn't interested in more/new friends.  My friendship situation hasn't changed since then but obviously my perspective has.  I really think it boils down to me being ready to have a life again so now friendships are important and what was enough last year isn't now.

I'm not sure how I'll be working through this.  I know I need to force myself to be more outgoing to some extent.  So when I take J to swim class or art class I need to be more social and outgoing with the other moms.  I also need to reach out to the moms I already know with kids J's age and setup some playdates.  Maybe by this holiday season I'll no longer be longing for the supposedly greener grass across the Mason Dixon line.

Today was J's 1-year assessment with Help Me Grow.  He's a "super star" in every category except one - speech.  His receptive speech is awesome but not the expressive.  He fluctuates between 3mo and 6mo "behind."  Why the quotes?  Because I recognize every kid is different and behind is relative.  I'm not super stressed about it but at the same time if our house sells there's a really good chance we'll leave the county and it's resources.  So we're having J get an evaluation with a speech therapist.  Figure it can't hurt.

They also fill out a social development type questionnaire.  J "passed" that too.  However, I'm having issues with that.  He/we had such a great time on vacation.  We saw people; we went places and did new things each day.  Now we're back at home and he's bored.  Okay, I'm bored (not really but sort of - I have plenty to do but lack momentum and motivation and that's a whole other story).  

I bought him new toys which is so not like me.  He has plenty of toys as it is and plenty more in storage and he doesn't "need" particular toys as he has no idea they even exist.  I've also found swimming lessons for him, and I should be getting a list of other age appropriate activities for him from his Help Me Grow specialist.  I've also been stressing over the playdate emails I sent over two months ago to friends.  I know so many families with kids J's age and I think playdates are in order.  Of course, all that work I need to do but have been avoiding due to lack of motivation keeps me from emailing about specifics.  That's not the only thing but it's the largest surface stumbling block.

Below the surface there are plenty more.  I recognize that and need to work it out.  What that entails I'm not sure but for starters I need to just send those emails for playdates and register J for classes so we both get out of the house more and have fun.

St. John vaca . . . check out the link

Follow the St. John adventures HERE at my travel blog.  There's no pulitzer prize winning writing but you'll get to read about the trip.  

birthday

Our boy is ONE!  Okay, so that's really old news.  I've shared it via Facebook oh, about a month ago when it was actually his birthday.  And unless there are a bunch of lurkers here, all my readers are on Facebook too.  That kinda takes the wind out of my blogging at times.  Yet another reason to abandon social networking (just one of many reasons).   I didn't really go into detail about the week long birthday extravaganza over there either.  I did however post photos and to me one of those is worth a bunch of words, maybe not 1000 but in come cases close.  To some extent I feel like, what's left to say but on the flipside I'm sure there is a lot if I scrape below the surface.  Let's see . . . 

We started J's birthday with a trip to the zoo.  It was warm and sunny and we headed straight to his favorite exhibit - the reef.  It was early in the morning and the zoo was pretty much empty.  He got to crawl around the exhibit and explore all the fish.  They had wires covered in broccoli and the fish would swim by and nibble.  As much as he loved the reef fish, he was not real happy with the manatees next door or the sea turtles.  

After a few more exhibits we had lunch then left for dessert.  Graeter's is just down the road and J got to have his first ice cream.  First he had that distinctive look of horror I've seen other babies have.  Why would Mama give him something so hideously cold, but then again it WAS yummy so maybe another bite - ooooh, just as cold.  He got used it; don't we all . . . and he loved it.  We had planned to go back to the zoo after his nap but they closed too early so we opted to hit the park instead.  J had a great time in the swing.

The next day his aunts and cousins arrived from Texas and each day was filled with playing . . . back to the park, then to the mall and of course all over the house.  

We went back to the local park first on Thursday night and J got to try the little kids jungle gym.  He loved the tunnel and tolerated the slide.  Getting dirty in the mulch was pretty fun too and I'm pretty sure it ranked higher than the slide too.  Friday was the trip to the mall.  The mall has a zoo themed play area with a tree in the center and animals all around it.  The animals look like they are hard plastic but they're foam.  They're weird but cool.  I kept expecting them to be hard but ever one was solid enough for kids to climb it but soft enough that you could fall on it and not get hurt.  I still can't wrap my brain around it.  J took quite awhile to warm up to the idea of all the animals and kids and adults. Eventually he did though and he headed straight for one of the tunnels.  

Saturday was the big party.  We had a few friends over but mainly we kept it to family.  J was awesome and seemed to have a good time.  He played upstairs with his cousins and friend while most of the adults were mingling downstairs.  Then it was gift time.  Amazingly the gifts kept his attention and he sat patiently looking at everything.  He liked the bright colored wrapping paper but also his new books.  The videos he wasn't too sure about and the other gifts were in boxes which he loves so he was excited if for no other reason than he had a new collection of boxes to push around.  

We got his cake from Clarencedale bakery in Campbell, Ohio.  They made my baby shower cupcakes as well as the cake for my dad's birthday.  J's cake was not as delicious as my dad's but it was still good.  It was enormous.  It was 2 full cakes high - I thought when I was asking for 2 flavors that each would be a 1/2 height and hence the cake would be of normal height . . . nope.  I got two cakes on top of each other.  The top was banana and the bottom was chocolate - they were separated by a layer of chocolate ganache.  Yum.  J's cake was banana and can you believe I did not get a photo of it?  It was quite cute and matched the bigger cake.  

J didn't dive into his cake.  He took some icing and that was it so I had to cut a piece out for him to see what it was.  I thought for sure he'd dig in then but no.  He did eat the slice I'd cut and put to the side but then he lost interest.  We gave him his dinner next and he found that much more appealing.  After dinner & cake he worked off his sugar high until it was gone, leaving him rather cranky and confused.  He wanted held but not held - he wasn't sure what he wanted and that frustrated him more.  I think we'll keep his sugar intake as low as possible.  Maybe he can have cake again at his 2nd birthday.

Sunday we all went to brunch and by all I mean our family in from PA and TX.  Then everyone scattered hitting the road for a long ride home, a day of flying or for us just a quick jaunt up the road.  I find Sundays rather melancholy to start with but after a long weekend of family fun and a party there is the potential for a really bad letdown.  That afternoon we filled our time organizing all of J's new stuff though so I stayed mentally occupied.  Of course what I really mean by "organizing" is that we shoe-horned it all into his room and our guest room upstairs.

a day without paper towels

We ran out of paper towels this week - the horror.  I have a love hate relationship with paper towels and hence with their existence in our home.  They are so wasteful.  I spent a whole day without them (I had planned to spend longer but a certain someone arrived home with them).  I'm addicted so when they re-enter the house I use them.  The hand towels are inches away in just as plain sight but I grab the paper towel.  Ugh.  I need  a 12 step program for paper towels.

Like many others, I also need to break my addiction to Facebook.  I'm doing better.  Better is of course relative.  I have hidden certain people so I'm feeling better about the site but I still find myself refreshing the page.  Refreshing the page!?!?  That is so unnecessary.  I need to visit at most 1x a day.  I'm just not sure how to make that happen.  I'm getting closer though and I've stopped taking all those horribly written quizzes!  It's a start.

 In addition to de-cluttering my online life, I also need to spring clean and de-clutter the physical space around me.  I feel like I'm always de-cluttering and not really cluttering.  I guess it's that I tend to move my stuff around and even out but it's not actually gone.  I have a 3-season room FULL of furniture.  I tried unsuccessfully to sell the stuff at a garage sale and now I'm moving on to Craigslist.  Once that is done I'll feel a lot better but not great.  J has taken over the upstairs.  There are toys everywhere and after his bday it's now officially crowded and cluttered.  Honestly the only two possible cures I see for this are him outgrowing the toys or us moving.  I do hope it's the latter.  That is another blog unto itself .

This feels like wasted space.  I haven't said anything worthwhile.  To be honest, I think I'm dancing around the worthwhile.  

I'm baaaaack

I must admit I've been lurking on my own blog.  I've been visiting often, with intent to write.  I have ideas, I have thoughts, but I have no motivation to actually write.  I want to, but I can't seem to start. 

Spring has arrived, sort of.  I love seeing the flowers and new leaf buds on all the trees.  It's one of the few things I miss about driving into an office for work. . . I miss seeing the trees develop leaves.  They start out as a vibrant green full of shades of yellow and as the season progresses they darken to almost emerald.  I love the brand new color of the spring leaves.  I'm noticing most days are breezy and sunny with temps in the mid 50s which unfortunately is just a smidge too cold for nightly walks.  We've gone out less than a handful of times so far but soon, very soon we'll be out every night enjoying the neighborhoods, monitoring house sales, saying hello to neighbors we haven't seen since fall.  

During one of our walks we opted for ice cream as if it were mid-summer.  We have 3 places that sell ice cream in a reasonable walking distance.  Two are right across the street from each other however, I'm boycotting one (UDF) and the other is fine but only offers soft-serve chocolate & vanilla.  We wanted more options so we strolled past those to the third location, Ollie's.  It has apparently been in town for about 4 years but we only discovered it last summer.  It offers flavors that are neither typical nor unique . . . as in it's no Baskin Robbins with the typical array of options but it's no Jeni's either.  It falls in-between with flavors like Cranberry Gelato and Chai.  With such intriguing flavors one is not certain what the product tastes like.  I mean for every Starbucks I hit I can get a Chai that tastes a little different so how do I know what their frozen version will taste like?  Unfortunately, there is no option to try their ice cream.  

Last year we arrived to see a tiny store covered in signs . . . no strollers, no samples, extra spoons 5 cents, etc.  This year there were no signs so I thought perhaps customer service was making a comeback.  Nope.  I was unable to get a sample of the Cranberry Gelato (or anything else).  Hesitantly I ordered it anyway.  And I wondered - what will I do if I dislike this?  Isn't it worth a tiny sample to ensure I am happy?  Otherwise I will have to hand them back the entire cone if I dislike it and that's a huge waste.  I also suspect that wouldn't go over well.  Sigh.  So now after battling all last summer with ourselves over whether or not to patronize this local, non-chain, mom and pop ice cream shop we have had to decide not to return.  It's not like they woo us with friendliness to compensate for the no samples.  They are generally just not very friendly.  They don't even offer to describe their flavors!  I'm so annoyed.  We visited well over a week ago and I'm still annoyed enough to rant here.  

I think customer service has been disappearing everywhere, but with this economy I expect it to make a comeback.  By expect it to make a comeback, I mean if a place doesn't offer me good customer service I will take my coveted spending elsewhere.

I'll be sure not to rant in the next blog entry!  :)

baby J toddling

Okay, he's not really toddling officially.  He has taken a few steps but much like those first crawling movements I'm not counting these.  I'm not sure he even realizes he is walking - alone.  We kinda trick him by sending him off to mama or dada (we'll get that in a sec) and letting him go.  Sometimes he sits, sometimes he falls into our arms, sometimes though he actually takes a couple steps.  He has not initiated independent walking though.  He'll happily walk holding our hand or his walker or along furniture and walls ('cmon if he can walk along that he can walk - dude!).  It took forever but he is willing to walk just holding a single hand.  That took over a week of him getting quite angry with us for not taking both his hands.  I've been thinking it would happen soon (independent walking) for months so I no longer guess or estimate at what age he'll walk.  Honestly I no longer care - I know it will happen sooner than later.

His last Help Me Grow meeting offered good news on the verbal front.  J is finally babbling consonant chains including nanananan and dadadadad with a little bababa and once or twice even a mamama.  J loves to play a game where he touches his chest and we say his name and then we touch someone else and say their name be it me, D or even the cats.  After about a week of this he even started initiating the game.  It's novelty has worn off so he doesn't do it mu

ch anymore but every so often he will want to play it again. His receptive language skills are awesome.  He knows what we mean when we say everyday things like nap, walk, sippy, bath, kitty, lovey, binky, etc.  It's just his expressive language that's a little behind.  Personally I blame the teeth.  He has 8 teeth.  The first set (by set I mean 4) came in from 6-7months of age.  Once those were done J promptly started crawling.  Then the next 4 teeth arrived at mo

nth 9-10 and nothing much happened developmentally until after that when J started assisted walking and his consonant babbling.  Now he's teething again I think so well see if it affects anything.  I really just think he cannot focus on moving his mouth around to make new noises when it is full of pain.  That's what my gut says.  And really it's not a big deal - he'll walk & talk in his own time.

We're also practicing signing.  I read that it's good to start when a baby can wave good-bye.  I guess that is when they will pick-up on the signs but we started earlier just to get him used to it.  He knows the words better than the signs but we keep using them so hopefully he'll start to use them.  He'll do "all done" but only after much prompting.  He'd much rather pitch is food & sippy to the floor when he's had enough.  He knows the sign for "more" and "train" but uses neither of course even when prompted.  We're working hard on "eat" right now but so far - nothing.  He is intrigued by "kitty" but again does not use it.  We'll likely get him a baby sign book and/or DVD for his birthday in hopes that will help.  

One of our main debates around here is how much to feed him.  I error on the side of stuffing him figuring he will pitch stuff when he is done.  D thinks I'm going to instill bad habits and he'll become overweight.  I'm not concerned - most babies and kids get baby fat.  I think as long as he is given plenty of opportunity and encouragement to be active then he'll not become part of the childhood obesity problem the US currently has happening.  I always error on the side of feeding too much.  I think it stems from J being born early and small and then having issues with eating and glu

cose levels in the NICU.  I've been programmed to feed him as much as he'll take.  I'm not sure when or if to stop that mentality though.  We'll see what the good doctor says at his 1yr appointment.  

Speaking of food this is the first month I've thought "wow, babies are expensive."  J has moved to finger foods completely now so I'm buying fruit and veggies and all kinds of things.  It makes formula seem cheap.  I'm sure one day - oh about 12 years from now - I'll laugh at the thought of finger foods being expensive as my teenage boy eats us out of house and home.  

I'm also coming to the realization that baby J has too much stuff and we don't have enough room for any of it.  I really really really hope our house sells this spring because we need a better layout.  We need a playroom for J because right now he has his room, the hallway, and the guest room as his own with toys everywhere.  It's mainly the big things like walking toys and ride-on toys that are the issue.  Though I noticed today he has outgrown his exersaucer so that can be disassembled and sold or put in storage.  That will clear up a little space for the Bobles he has coming for his birthday.  Sadly, I also think the jumperoo needs moved into the bathroom permanently (ugh - we are being taken over).  It keeps J safe and out of trouble while I shower though I know he'll be outgrowing that in no time too.  I just hope we can be into a new home by then [fingers crossed].  On the flipside, our first floor is baby free with the exception of the highchair and pack-and-play (the latter we're considering packing up for good though).  

I bought a new baby carrier.  It's a Catbird brand carrier (the pikkolo) and I purchased it locally from Sprout Soup.  I wish I had known about this place last year at this time.  I would have visited there for a carrier rather than buying a pouch and then a Bjorn and now a Catbird (um, can you say expensive?!?!).  The Bjorn was actually a gift and we used it a TON and J loved it.  We walked every night this past summer and J joined us in that until late September when we moved to the jogging stroller (he was just too heavy for that long of a walk).  So why did I buy a new carrier then?  J is too wiggly for a pouch (I tried ours) and too big for the Bjorn (says it goes up to 21lbs but that must be a skinny/tall baby!).  I bought the Catbird because J is a mama's boy and he's not walking yet.  There are times when it's easier to put him in a carrier then a stroller.  When?  Quick trips to the mall (J hates his stroller indoor), festivals (Grapefest comes to mind but also Arts Festival), parties (I thought I'd need this for one a couple weeks ago but J was happy to play on the floor), Filene's Basement (and any other place that does not have carts & the aisles are too small for a stroller).  I do admit that an umbrella stroller could have solved some of these issues but oh well.  We'll save the um

brella stroller for next year.

J has dropped a nap.  He's been working on this for a few weeks when he got a cold and needed/wanted extra sleep.  He was solidly back to 2 naps when Daylight Savings happened.  That must have been just the jolt he needed be

cause he instantly dropped a nap.  It took him a couple days to fully adapt but now he's sleeping for 2-3 hours

 after lunch each day.  Woo-hoo!  I like that he has more playtime but a solid nap still.  He seems happy with it and he's still sleeping through the night which is possibly the most important thing.

This week J will turn one.  I've begun to feel a little frantic.  I'm getting my freelance work done early, getting the pets ready to be boarded, the house ready for guests, the boy ready to celebrate, etc.  I thought this morning that it's fitting.  I was frantic this time last year too.  Friday was my last day of work.  I left at noon for a doctor's appointment.  My blood pressure was high and I had to have bloodwork done.  I was told that if the bloodwork came back poorly (seems like the wrong word) then I'd be induced the next day.  Regardless I was to schedule an appointment on Monday for a re-check on the bp and I was warned if it was still high there would be no bed rest; I would simply be induced that evening.  I had taken the optional 2 weeks off before my due date so I could do baby shower thank yous and the last bit of buying and nesting.  Instead I spent that weekend running around buying things and cleaning the house and resting as much as possible (but not enough).  Not surprisingly on that Monday (St. Patrick's Day) I still had high bp and I was told to go straight to the hospital to be induced (we were given a few hours reprieve to tend to our dogs first).  And the rest as they say is history.

 

Leave a comment

In the past I have done woe-some posts about "does anyone even read this."  I'm not in a woeful mood today, maybe it's the bright blue sky.  I do wonder who stops by here though.  Are there new readers?  Well, in any case WELCOME to you all.  Please leave me a comment if you read this.  Say hi, I'd like to know you stopped by even if it was just this once.  And yes - I mean you.  You.  Don't think I'm talking about the reader over there or the one over here or the older one or the young one or whatever.  I mean you.    :)   Later.

what is the problem?!?!

I have been trying to blog for weeks now - weeks!  I realize you cannot tell this but I have started and stopped the same entry repeatedly.  It's even an easy topic - baby J.  So instead I'm getting back on the blogging horse with a tried and true entry - a list.  Oh, how I love lists.  In fact I have recently discovered the "sticky note" application on my Mac's dashboard.  I LOVE it.  I use yellow for work, purple for t-shirts, and the brighter colors for deadlines and other must-do items.  I wish they offered some of the day-glo sticky colors but generally I like the muted shades.

Oh were to start?

• Since I'm online I'll start with social networking.  I used to be on MySpace but I've abandoned it for Facebook.  Funny that I joined Facebook bcs my Aussie friend sent me an invite.  I thought 'oh good she's using that and we can stay in touch.'  Well, I think it was an honest attempt but she's just not an online kind of girl so I don't get to stay as much in touch that way as I'd like.  Instead I'm friends with a bunch of people from high school and my former work place.  I must say I hate social networking sites.  They are a huge time suck and they offer little silver lining in their existence.  I have gotten back in touch with people from high school and college that I barely talked to and still barely talk to online.  So I'm not sure of the purpose of the site but yet there I am sending little greenspace plants and taking quizzes.  I've learned 25 random things about a lot of people and more importantly I've allowed my self-esteem to sink a bit at times.  Yep.  At least I have not gotten involved in any interpersonal dramas so that's a plus.  I really just need to delete everything or make a point to only sign on 1x a week (or better yet a month!).  We'll see what I can do.  I cut the cord with MySpace without issue (even before Facebook).
• I love spring.  I'm so excited it's warmer out.  Granted it's only in the mid 40s today and that's probably the average winter low in Dallas, but we had 20s for so much of this winter that I'll gladly take 40s.  Of course I cannot wait for 60s and 70s (dare I dream of days even warmer than that?!?!) and I hope they are just around the corner.
• Speaking of spring which officially starts next week,  baby J becomes toddler J next week a well - he'll be a year!  I can't believe it.  It's gone by fast but also it's just amazing how much growing babies do in the first year.  I heard a newborn baby crying at the pediatrician's office this week and it's such a different cry.  I forgot.  This should really be it's own blog considering I've included no updates at all for way too long.  If nothing else sooner than later there'll be the birthday party pics and blog.  
• So why the Dallas shout out a few lines ago?  Well, we had been considering moving down there.  We're still planning to sell the house - or I should say list the house - in late spring.  I hope we price it right and it sells quickly.  Based on some research D has done it seems like transferring to DFW in a lateral move would not be the best plan.  It could happen but it's not the route D is wanting to take.  So we're going to stay in Ohio but we're not sure how long-term that choice will be.  We want to rent a  house but with our dogs, cats, baby, and budget that just might not happen.  Hence we are prepared to buy, knowing that with the current market that means a commitment to stay a couple years probably.  I'm trying not to focus on selling, moving, renting, buying, TX, OH, blah, blah, blah.  It's too much.  There are so many unknowns and I want to be positive.  The best way for me to do that is not to think about it at all.  I'm taking the Dorrie approach (as in Finding Nemo's Dorrie) . . . "just keep swimming; just keep swimming; just keep swimming."
• Work is happening.  I'm so happy to have a job!  I'm excited that it's a return to photo research which I've been away from for a couple years now.  It's going well.  As with nearly all freelance projects I've ever done there have been moments of frustration, but overall it's going really well.  I just hope there are more jobs available down the road.  In part due to the freelance job and in part due to other issues the t-shirts are not moving as quickly as I would like.  I hope I will still be able to have samples to take with me in May but I worry I'm getting to a point that it's going to be cutting it close.  Yikes!
• Mom's group:  I went to a meeting here for a Mom's group.  It's a branch of an international club so there was cost associated with it.  The cost is not high, but because the group is specific to my town I opted out for now.  If we move even a few towns/suburbs south of here than I would want to join one in that location.  I did send an email out to a big group of women all with kids under the age of two.  I heard back from most everyone but so far there are very few people who have similar availability.  I was giving people a little more time and I wanted to get past J's birthday and Daylight Savings before diving in to planning that.  I would like J to meet more babies and have playtime.  The daycare at the gym normally has a bunch of 3-5yr olds and that's just a little too old for J.  It's free though so while the hourly place would have kids his age I use the gym.  I may just have to take him to the hourly place 1x a week and the gym the other time.  I'm trying to socialize him more for our vacation May in which he'll be staying with his aunt.  He's a mama's boy and I'm super concerned he'll have one huge week-long meltdown.  We'll see.  He could be completely different in a few months!

Okay, it's not much of a list but it's a lot of words!  

another list

I'm well aware that I have not blogged.  I've been busy but that's not why.  I just haven't had a desire to write anything.  I'm not concerned about whether or not anyone is reading.  I'm not worried about saying too much or not enough or anything like that.  I just have no interest in saying anything.

But here I am.

Today, I guess I feel chatty. . . 

I was trying to blog about my freewill horoscopes but a few were a little too personal to discuss.  What he wrote may not have been but the cord it hit was.  I do feel like anything I write here I should be willing to scream into a room of strangers.  Other weeks the horoscopes were just stupid (or stupider depending on your point of view).  

Of course I try to blog about J regularly to keep people updated.  However, I'm not sure anyone is out there reading and I talk to enough folks that I think the people who want to know what's going on with him do know.

So here are a few updates . . . . 

Baby J is sick.  [Oh and he's only "baby J" on here because "J" sounds like my dog.]  He has his first cold.  Snot is everywhere.  Both my nasal aspirators are broken (dog ate one & the other split in half around the center of the bulb) so CVS here we come!  I'm happy that he did not get sick until now, but I had been hoping to get him to his first birthday which would coincide nicely with the start of spring and the beginning of the end of sick season.  But no, the combination of meeting other babies, daycare at the gym, and using up all his frozen anti-body laden breastmilk created the perfect storm.  Poor little guy - he's in good company though.  Seems like everyone is sick around here, including his dad.  So far I'm staying healthy.

My t-shirts are causing me stress.  I'm currently getting feedback from people on my first drafts.  I may have to branch out and get even more feedback though.  Today's feedback from non-STJ visitors contradicts the initial feedback from my group of STJ junkies.  Hmmmm.  The issue I'm fretting over is which designs to keep and which to dump . . . and how many if any new designs I should add.  Do I do a cohesive line or the original hodgepodge I'd created?  Ugh.  Too much to consider.  I'm new to all of this so finding a printer was causing enough stress before adding the need to focus (or re-focus I guess).  So if you want to be part of my focus test let me know.

My other job is going better.  It's pretty straight-forward.  I'm happy to have it and I like it.  Not much more to say about that.

We had a real estate agent come by last week.  He'd been here about 4 years ago when we'd considered selling.  So now we're back to that and he's back.  He did a walk through to see our upgrades.  He plans to go over some local sales data and get back to us on a listing price.  

Average days on the market here is over 4 months!  Ugh.  

I'm really nervous.  Mainly because we don't know where we want to live or where we can live.  The plan is that if the house sells fast we'll just rent until we figure things out.  Ugh.  We have 3 cats and 2 dogs and I don't want to live in some dump because of that.  Finding a rental is really making me skittish.  

I'm trying to remain positive but it's hard.  That's not my go-to emotion.  Anyway, we plan to list in late spring.  We'll see what happens.  

More about J . . . he's quickly approaching the big ONE.  We work daily on walking and words.  And I'm working on figuring out what to feed him.  He's sort of in-between right now.  He can't chew a lot but he's not so interested in pureed mush.  He's also really taking to feeding himself.  So now I need a whole new batch of ideas on what to feed him for a few weeks until he's ready to just eat what we're eating.  If you have ideas by all means share!

Nepalese booties keep baby feet warm & dry . . .

I forgot some things in my non-bulleted list that I posted yesterday.  Since it snowed a ton today I figured I'd also include some photos.

Baby J . . . he is standing.  Not right this second (well, maybe he is I cannot see him), but in general  he is now standing on his own.  I time him and he's gone 8 seconds before falling.  Walking, here he comes!  He will not yet walk while holding just one hand but he'll nearly run when holding both your hands.  He went from hating to walk with his walker to spending a good portion of each morning going back and forth across each room & the hallway.  Instead of learning to turn it around though, I suspect he has decided to walk with it backwards.  I don't like this idea because, though it is innovative, it lends itself to crying once the walker tips over and spills baby J onto the floor.

You probably can't tell, but Jack is wearing his Nepalese booties here.  

They sort of fit.

Cleo . . . she is home now.  I did not look into the bag in which she was returned too well.  I saw a box and a plastic flower and then left it alone.  Today I unpacked the bag to find it is a beautiful cherry wood box, a plaque (unattached), and a creepy little envelope full of fur.  I squealed  (which scared J) when I opened it  and quickly tossed it back into the bag.  I'm not sure what to do with Miss Cleo.  Honestly, I really  want to have her made into a diamond and wear her around.  I don't actually like diamonds but I would wear Cleo; I bet she'd be a gorgeous diamond. 

Work . . . I left this out altogether.  After a stressful week, I hope to be getting 1st draft designs in for the last couple specs this week.  My artist was stressing and I think/hope we have made it over a hurdle and onward.  I'm really excited to see them.  

I have also contacted a local printer.  I'm hoping to have a quote from them in a few days, maybe a week?  I don't know how long that takes.  I like them, but I think since I'm clueless I will have to dig up at least one more printer for a second quote. 

Because it's time . . .

. . . to post, but it'll be bullets!

Tonight was J's first late night.  He did not get to bed until 10 p.m. - poor tired boy.  We had a dinner party out with D's coworkers.  Wish we could have spent more time, but thanks to the weather that was not possible.  It took us a little over an hour to get there - Main was a parking lot and hence we arrived late.  But we arrived much earlier than others.  Getting home was worse because the snow had turned to freezing rain.  I thought surely J would sleep on the ride home, but nope.  

My clothes don't fit.  It's a problem.  They fit last month but now, nope.  Was it the Christmas cookies?  Maybe it's that I stopped nursing?  Or maybe my dryer really IS shrinking all my pants.  Hmmmm.  In any case I'm making the gym a priority.  It's not my favorite place, but until the weather breaks I don't have a choice.  I have my first trainer appointment tomorrow (assuming the roads are plowed and I can get out of the driveway).  I'm seeing Elizabeth again - my on again, off again trainer for the past 5 or so years.  I can't even do a sit-up I discovered at ab class last week.  Nice.  I looked like a flopping fish on the floor - embarrassing.  

I got a lot accomplished so far this week.  I have J's cake designed for his party ( I thought it would take longer or I would have procrastinated as usual).  I contact a real estate agent and he's coming to the house next week (it's a perfect time to sell, right).  The freelance job is going well - I have the work all scheduled out.  The t-shirts are a bit behind but I think we just got over a hurdle so I'm excited for what should be coming.  I found an hourly daycare for J.  I was excited to use it until tonight when I cringed to see him next to a baby with a cold.  I know he'll get sick - it's natural, but I'd still like to postpone it as long as possible!  Ugh.  I thought there was more, oh well.

I got my new computer - a Mac.  I'm still learning little things and have more to learn.  It's for work.

Speaking of computers . . . I barely blog anymore if you haven't noticed.  I'm never on MySpace anymore either.  And I'm not so sure about Facebook.  I have a love/hate relationship with it.  I'm addicted to my Lil GreenSpace (or whatever it's called).  I think it breeds discontent if overused and I'm overusing it.  

Cleo is home.  We picked her up today.  I most often think of her in the evenings.  Some nights I still expect to see D carrying her up the stairs.  With that said, I actively avoid thinking about her because I just get upset.  That sounds bad.  Maybe that's not exactly what I meant, but I do avoid dwelling and over thinking so as not to get upset.  That sounds better.  It's hard to explain.

Sirachi Hot Chili Sauce can NOT be substituted for "chili sauce' in a recipe.  FYI.  Happy HOT Chinese New Year!  

As promised . . .

A holiday pictorial (since I now have the forgotten photo card reader back home with me).



Our winter solstice trip to the Columbus Zoo for Wildlights. It was cold but fun. J really like the animals. We saw the indoor exhibits of course . . . elephants and fish (lots of fish).

I was so proud of my first attempt at meringues that I took a photo. These are cardamom flavored. They were really tasty and pretty. I'll make them again next year (I also made mocha flavored this year which were also good).

J taking in the sites of Christmasland at Kraynak's.

J opening gifts Xmas Eve at my aunt's home. He really liked a blue ribbon that was attached to this gift.

Christmas morning at my mom's.

Thank you

Thank you to everyone who commented on the memorial. Tomorrow will be 1 week and it's starting to sink in more - though last night I thought 'wait, where's Cleo' as I heard D bounce up the stairs (he never bounced up them so gingerly while toting Cleo).

Miss Cleo

Photo winter 2008

Cleopatra Amber Joy
1993 - 2009

We adopted Cleo from BRAT (Basenji Rescue and Transport) in 1999 as a one year anniversary gift to ourselves (oh, along with the new house we'd just bought). D wanted a dog now that we had the house, but I was more of a cat person. I researched breeds in my down time at the vet clinic (there was a lot of that) and came upon the basenji. A very cat-like breed they were known to keep themselves fastidiously clean and they were often aloof like a cat. Cleo was both.

We drove to Philadelphia via D.C. to pick her up from her foster home. She was cool as a cucumber. It was the 4th home she would join in less than a year. Her first owners divorced and there seemed to be an opposite custody battle over her. She wound up with grandma who could not properly care for her. Next off to the foster and then to her forever home with us.

Of our three basenjis she was by far the closest to typical. She was just naughty enough to let you know her brilliance and competency. She was aloof indeed but would happily lie next to you. She was always calm and collected though would change in a second upon seeing wildlife in the yard. She was a hunter. She baroo'd and yodeled and often on command. She hated water. She was a basenji through and through.

A few months after she arrived we adopted a brother for her (Jeremy). They got along wonderfully and often cuddled together during car rides and near heating vents around the house. In 2000 we fostered Zulu and he's never left. From the get go he was the annoying little brother. By now she was nearing 10 years old and was becoming less patient with things she did not like or approve. Zulu fit both categories and she snarked at him anytime he came near. Sometimes he really just wanted to be near her but all too often he seemed to enjoy annoying her.

If I walk into our bedroom I will step in the crumbs she left on the floor from her biscuit - still not vacuumed. If I walk into the laundry room I will see her sweaters awaiting the wash. Her food stand still sits by the backdoor. Her home was not ready for her to leave though we and it had been preparing for months. Cleo was 16 years old this year. A fierce warrior basenji she clung to what grace and strength she could to the very last moment. She will always be with us in spirit and thought.

We love and miss you, Miss Cleo.

Cleo the weekend we picked her up (pictured in Ashburn, VA)

Cleo after she broke her back leg jumping off the deck (circa 2000)

Showing she can be naughty indeed - that's a blue highlighter she gutted.

Basking in the sun. Basenjis (and Cleo) love sunshine.

Circa 2007, she's backed up to a heating vent.

A new favorite

I can't say I dislike my freewill horoscope this week, but it's not a favorite either. Instead I'm posting something that is a favorite - a new favorite.

J has gotten numerous new books over the holiday season. Still, I bought him a handful more the other day. One is called Winter Babies Wear Layers and I LOVE it! It's a simple sentence per spread (perfect for J's current attention span) and the artwork is simple. The mom in most pictures is dressed modernly, but the colors and patterns in her clothing, baby's, and the scenery are all very mid-century modern.
My favorite page is below.

I want to be this artwork.

Sh!tty R Us

I'm boycotting both Toys R Us and Babies R Us . . . the entire R Us franchise. In fact I may lift my nearly decade long boycott of Wal-Mart in light of, though that's not for certain (two wrongs don't make a right).

I was first annoyed with RUs when I was doing my baby registry. Their online merchandise and store merchandise are completely separate. You cannot find something in-store online and vice versa (at least with Babies). After this there was a lull in annoyance.

Today was it. Today was enough to warrant an indefinitely long boycott. I arrived with J and D and a handful of items to return/exchange. I had no gift receipts but would happily accept store credit. The clothing was short sleeved and will not fit by the time it's warm . . . J's grandparents got him a walker toy so he doesn't need the one we bought, etc. Well, they don't do returns OR exchanges without a receipt. Nothing - nada - goodbye - don't let the automatic doors hit you on your way out.

Seriously? The customer service was already lacking, but this was it. This was the last straw. There isn't ANY customer service. It's ridiculous.

I'll hopefully find my receipt but what about others who sent J items in hopes they would fit, but if not security in knowing they could be exchanged. I guess they'll have to be hounded for their receipts. Or maybe the gifts will go unused and languish in a drawer. Or better yet, J can sport them for Independence Day in January - the flipside of Christmas in July.

You know I returned 2 gifts to Wal-Mart already and it took 10 seconds for them to issue me a store credit. Though I have been boycotting them I will more happily spend that money there than a single further cent at any RUs store.

On a side note, I've been waiting to become sassier. I thought oooh after 30 I'll come into my own and speak my mind - nope. Then I thought oh surely once I'm a mom I'll be more vocal but not so far. Well, finally I did and I was not rude or anything. But I did express my disbelief, displeasure and their loss of a customer. While I was very angry and in shock, it's not the cashier's fault so I would not have wanted to be rude or make a huge scene (though part of me did want to do exactly that).