Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Focus

I'm lacking focus. I cannot seem to really focus on writing. I've had time over the past few days where I could have been writing here but instead all I did was think about my dear little blog. I'm not sure what to write about. I'm even having trouble writing this.
Trouble. The trouble is not a lack of desire to write but more of a block. I know I'll get here and end up with a little update. I might as well call this a list of lists instead of a blog.

I'll admit part of the problem is audience. I'm not sure I even have an audience let alone who they are and why they're reading. That's only a fraction of the issue though because my posts have rarely been related to or spurred by an audience. I've considered republicizing my blog with potentially new readers. Then I feel like I'd actually have to commit to writing though. And I'd need a focus with which to lure them.
The obvious focus would be J. I spend the vast majority of my day tending to his needs and interacting with him. I could easily write a blog all about him, and I've considered that as a viable option. I'm not exactly keeping up with the baby book so having a blog to refer back to for important things would be nice. Well, because of course someday I'm going to write all that down!
But I'm not just mommy. I've only been mommy in fact for 6 months and while it is all consuming now, I'm still me. Surely I can find grown-up things to write about, but honestly past pop culture and politics I'm not sure what that would be. I have a tendency to drift into whining and that wouldn't increase the size of the audience.
I feel like I've been battling this blog nearly since it began. I loved it when I had my travel blog. It was focused. I felt good about what I was saying though I still don't believe I had much of an audience. But THIS blog has been a horse of a different color. It's not been a source of much of anything positive for me though it has potential. With that being said, I just can't say good-bye to it quite yet. Instead, I will again tell it, myself, and my audience that I'll write more often and better.
Oh yeah, and I should also mention - I take this way too seriously!

3 comments:

Shannon said...

I would love to read all of J's updates! And being you doesn't mean eliminating the mommy part. It's just part of who you are now. You can mix grown-up things in with little-j things. :)

Anonymous said...

I still read it :)

Before I even read your last line, I was going to say something to that effect :) "Be gentle with yourself," as Anne would say. A blog isn't something to stress about if you're doing it for yourself, right? (of course, I'm also the world's biggest hypocrite and not in any position to tell anyone else to lighten up--so know that I can totally relate to you!)

On a funny note, when I read "republicize," my brain read it as "republicanize." I did a double-take on that one! Ha! :)

Beth said...

Your audience is here....just checking up on you and D! Write whatever you want...

How are your t shirts coming?