a poem

galloping Gato
purring, eyes wide, hair on end
let's play - chase me

squeaking and chortling
hopping sideways down the hall
we're playing- come on

running - gaining speed
take flight jumping on the bed
waiting - play with me

My idea - morphed and spreading

Yesterday I had an idea for the baby shower being thrown for me in February. It stemmed from two things. One, my family and friends keep bugging me about the envelope on my fridge. The one in which the doctor wrote the baby's sex. It started as a compromise (in my mind) with D. He wanted to know, but I didn't. So in case I changed my mind (or he changed it) we had the doctor write it down for us. I've since had people say this is more like torture than compromise - I can see that. Two, is that opening that envelope, while tempting seems like it will end up being anti-climatic. It seems more worthwhile to just wait and get the surprise at delivery. We've considered finding a special occasion to open it, but so far nothing seemed to fit - until yesterday.

The idea started with the consideration that we just open the envelope at the shower with our friends and family. That didn't seem exciting enough though so I thought perhaps someone could win the chance to open it. I mulled over the idea all day and eventually it solidified into something.

The final idea (final for the most part) is that we raffle (or auction) the chance to open the envelope. The "winner" has three choices. 1) Choose that the sex still remain secret until deliver. 2) Open the envelope and share the news with everyone. 3) Choose to share the information only with D & I - and of course themselves. The proceeds from the raffle/auction would go to a charity. Though one has not yet been decided, it would be a children's charity and perhaps one tied to our safari theme (hence an African children's charity).

I told my mom about it and she didn't really "get it." She didn't seem to think anyone would be interested and seemed to wonder what would be in it for everyone. I was a little disappointed. But on the flipside, both the friend I told and my sister-in-law think it's a great idea. My sister-in-law even seemed to find the idea inspirational for her job. So the idea has now morphed and it's spreading. So hopefully in the end, the idea helps a number of charities and hence people.

So here is the question (or here are the questions) I'm posing to you - all of you reading this. What do you think? Do you side with my mom in wondering what's in it for the guests? Why bother? Or do you side with the other two in thinking it's a great idea? Oh, and raffle or auction? I'm getting very hung up on that one so I might as well get everyone's input on that too.

We're crazy

We were called crazy for out daytrip yesterday - that may be an accurate accusation. We got up bright and early, on a tight timeline for the day. We had already picked up our medium-sized, rented moving truck. We didn't need one 16ft long, but it was all they had available. We were already late arriving at our first stop - the daybed. I was so excited it was already taken apart! All that was left was loading it up. That bought us some time for the day, which was good because from the start I'd forgotten to actually allot ANY time for food stops or shopping stop two. [The daybed is replacing our current queen-sized guestbed. There's no room it with all the baby stuff and fortunately we've already sold it on Craigslist.]

Our second stop was at Sofa Express Outlet. Apparently all the Sofa Express are closing so we were hoping for extra deals at the outlet also. Lots of items DID have extra percentages off which was good. We found a total of three rocker recliners, all the same style but different colors. Unfortunately something was wrong with each one. The sage chair's reclining mechanism was broken, and the tan chair's arm was cracked and did not appear fixable. The third chair was in good shape but had cream fabric. Hmmm, 3 cats, 3 dogs, and a baby with cream fabric. We decided since we were doing cream rugs we might as well invest in some Scotchguard and get the chair. It was a good deal & I've been really particular about the style so I was worried I would not find something else suitable. The chair was a hoped for but unexpected buy. Yeah! It was also the last item on the baby furniture "find" list.

Now the longest part of our drive - the leg to Ikea. It wasn't that bad but it was a little boring with no radio stations coming in, and no tape player for our iPod and no cd player either. We were making good time though and we were on-track with my pre-established timeline for the day. Whew!
So what's up with the insane traffic in and around the Robinson Town Center? Shopping traffic does not seem to exist like that here - is it the hills???? Our only option for lunch was Steak & Shake (not a vegetarian's first pick - at least not this one's). Once at Ikea, we got through out list rather quickly. We opted out of getting a bookcase, but found a desk and eventually settled on an armoire for the baby. It's not the one I wanted, but I was convinced it could be made to look similar but would be easier for D to paint. So I compromised and I do think it will work out just fine.

Next we were heading north to pick up our dog. She's elderly now, and goes on hunger strikes when boarded. She's also too thin, so hunger strikes aren't a good idea for her. So she stays with my parents and had been vacationing there for the past two weeks. We were meeting my mom just off the interstate we needed to take home. This was the final item on our to-do list. Next was the final leg, to take us full circle - home.

It was 12-hours (tiring hours) of driving & shopping, but we got everything on our list. We nearly beat the freezing rain - it started when we were about 50 minutes from home. We managed to back the truck into the driveway without incident. Then finally, this morning the dogs let us sleep-in before having to make space for all our goods, unload them, and then return the truck!

I'm so tired. Poor D is working late - poor me, my quantity of sleep will also be affected. But the dogs look tired, maybe I'll be able to get them to bed early with me.
I know I'm whiny. The day was really productive though and necessary. I'm glad it went so well, and I'm really glad it's done!

Update #2

Everyone asks me how I'm feeling. Maybe because I felt so crappy for so long. Well, I feel good though last week I felt squished. I’m very short-waisted and my belly must have expanded yet again recently because I’m feeling like I have more room. It’s cyclical, and there seem to be a few days here and there where the belly hasn’t caught up yet and my insides feel quite squished and uncomfortable. I’m hoping to make it through this month, if not beyond for doing shots in the belly. The thighs may end up being a fine place, but I’m used to the belly and hesitant about change. I have to do these the whole time so there’ll be plenty to go around for the belly, legs and arms. Fun times.

I’m not really having any crazy cravings. I have noticed in general that my appetite has increased in the past week or so. For instance, instead of a sandwich for dinner, I really feel like a need an extra ½ sandwich to go with it. I barely gained any weight at my last ob appointment (only 1lb) but I think it will even out when I go in this month. I think I will finally have out-gained D who has been keeping up and actually surpassing me with his sympathy weight gain. I appear to only be gaining weight in my belly which one the many, many, many old wives tales says that means I’m having a boy. We did have our ultrasound, but could not agree on finding out vs. not finding out (the sex). I was the hesitant one, so as a compromise (which I’m not told is actually torture) we had the doctor write it down and seal it in an envelope. That way if I change my mind we can open it and know. Part of me does want to know, but part of me is enjoying the self-control I’m emitting. It’s a challenge against myself. The longer we wait, of course the more I think it’s “safe” to look (as in we won’t be bombarded with only pink or blue clothes) but also that it’s less worthwhile because we’re closer to just having the surprise.

Back to cravings, while I don’t think I have any cravings I do have a lack of them. I used to crave chocolate daily – especially dark chocolate. Now I find dark chocolate (most of it anyway) rather tasteless. Not that I’m really into milk chocolate now, I’m just not that into chocolate. I haven’t been doing sweets nearly as much as before I was pregnant. I guess that’s better. I must say that yesterday we went to Jamba Juice for lunch and the smell of fresh oranges was nearly intoxicating. I smelled them again at work today – not sure why, maybe someone had a gift basket. I like orange juice, but not oranges. They’re way too much work. But I can’t stop thinking about them, and now I want one. I guess I could just juice it and have fresh OJ. That’s as close to cravings as I’ve come though since before I knew I was pregnant. I had an overwhelming need for kalamata olives (which I was actually only just learning to like) so I bought a big container and munched down a handful of them. By the next day they were once again nearly appalling . . . and I quickly moved on to a cupcake obsession.

Update #1

We went to Texas this past weekend for the first of our three showers. I’m feeling really spoiled – three showers. We have family down there, including D’s mom who cannot travel. It just seemed to make sense to have one there, plus it made sure we got to see everyone for the holidays. It was a nice long weekend with gorgeous weather compared to what we’re used to. We had brunch at the Gaylord Texan – very nice. The buffet was comparable only to the one at Caneel Bay. As a vegetarian, I found plenty to eat though the non-vegetarian would have been even more wowed. I got to see my family who I haven’t seen in forever, and some cousins I’d never even met before. I got more gifts than I ever expected including tons of cute gender-neutral clothing. I think I now own every single gender-neutral item that Carter’s sells. Even with all the gifts, I couldn’t curb my newest obsession with baby clothes. I made my own purchases also. Having cleaned out Carter’s I moved on to Gymboree. They had woodland creature clothing on clearance. How could I pass up onesies with chipmunks and squirrels? It was all I could do to walk away with only two items. D had to help me maintain composure – I think he was mainly worried about there being no room left in our suitcases. This was a valid concern, because upon checking our bags at the airport, one was over the weight limit by 4 lbs. We just popped it open and took out the diaper bag full of baby clothes to be a 2^nd carry on and WA-LA, crisis averted.

As part of the baby shower extravaganza we’ve had many of our “big ticket” items arrive on our doorstep. The nursery is in no shape to accommodate these items as we still haven’t gotten rid of the current furniture inhabiting the room. I feel like the holidays are causing me to procrastinate and everything will rain down at once come January 2^nd. We’ve started being a little more proactive though by posting some of the before mentioned furniture on Craiglist. Once it’s cleared out and the holidays are over we’ll be able to move all the boxes in to the nursery and start assembling baby furniture. I’ve already bought the nursery bedding and chosen the paint color – we just need time to take care of it all. I’m trying to be patient and not stress but it’s getting more and more difficult. It’s just my nature I think.

Introduction to Updates

I’ve snuck a few extra blogs in before getting all the topics crossed of the list I promised everyone (or you – not sure how many readers I’m up/down to). I think the last one on the list was “baby stuff.” I’ve actually been hesitant to do a baby blog entry. I typed one out but it had no flow and I hated it. Basically, I was trying to be quite elusive because I’m a freak. I’ve watched too many Datelines where babies are stolen (sometimes while still inside moms-to-be – in fact that has happened right in my own state). So I just didn’t want to broadcast too much information like where I’m from or when I’m due, etc. So I decided to change my profile and omit my location. I feel only slightly better now. Better enough though to share some highlights – stay tuned.

Oooooooh, I'm driving my life away

Well, the midnight headlight
Find you on a rainy night
Steep grade up ahead
Slow me down makin' no time
I gotta keep rollin'
Those windshield wipers
Slappin' out a tempo
Keepin' perfect rhythm
With the song on the radio
Gotta keep rollin'

Yesterday, I honestly felt like my entire life was driving. I could not be a professional driver. We managed to do no traveling for the Thanksgiving holiday. We missed all the driving traffic on Wednesday by staying home, and eluded Black Friday shoppers for the most part. But we literally drove right into holiday traffic Sunday evening. It wasn’t pretty.

We drove to PA to drop off our elderly dog for my parents to watch. We have a trip to TX coming up soon, and at her advanced age, she doesn’t do well at the boarder any longer. She’ll spend two weeks at “grandma’s” and then we’ll pick her up on another whirlwind day trip in early December. It’s about a 3-hour drive to drop her off, sit and visit for a couple hours and get back on the road again. I could feel our ecological footprint oozing out of control. The highlights were that we got to meet my parents’ new dog, Buddy. He’s a very sweet Chinese Crested they rescued. He napped on my lap the entire time I was there. We also got to visit with our niece and nephew who we don’t see very often at all. This is our first visit with Al where she was quite talkative. And last but not least – I got a Peanut butter Crunch blizzard which I can only manage to get in my hometown these days. Yum!

We drove ¾ of the way home without incidence – then we all stopped, all three lanes of us. It had just started to rain so it was darker than normal for that time of day. We crawled along at 15 mph for about an hour without passing an exit. That tall Zen tea I’d drank was slowly becoming yet another issue, especially with no rest stops in addition to no exits. We were also really glad at the last minute I’d grabbed the iPod!

Finally we reached an exit, only 2 before ours. We’d finally hit the 50mph mark so we decided it was best to keep on rollin’. As we exited the interstate and began the last leg into town and hence home, the Eddie Rabbit song I have a portion of above began to play. It was still raining, the windshield wipers were indeed slappin’ out a tempo that kept perfect rhythm with his song on the well, the iPod.

Gratitude

I really am a grateful person, and while I may not put that gratitude out into the universe often enough, I do think about it and feel it very often. However, I'm not big into Thanksgiving. For one, I'm vegetarian. And the holiday seems to revolve around the food more than giving thanks - at least from the circles I see. Being vegetarian and hence a little anti the holiday has allowed me to conveniently latch onto another issue. I'm part native American so Columbus Day and Thanksgiving really represent the beginning of the end of part of my genetic culture. I think I'm just including that as some kind of disclaimer maybe. What I should say is that while I am grateful and I'm not big into Thanksgiving, I'm still sharing a list of what I'm thankful for. And I guess the timing is based purely on societal pressure and/or my need to fit in (or something). So much for standing on principle with the holiday.

*******************************************

As I sit here in my home, I feel like it's easy enough to start with what's physically closest to me. I am extremely grateful for our home. I'm grateful to have shelter let alone owning our home. It's taken a number of years, but I absolutely love this home now. We've made so many changes/repairs/upgrades recently and I'm grateful for those opportunities and the results.

I'm grateful for the little furry bodies resting around me. They are not the most behaved little animals but they are sweet and endearing and I love them. They enrich my life. Because of them I can't take anything too seriously - especially any hang-ups I may have over material items.

Though living in one of the wealthiest countries in the world, I recognize the poverty that exists here and elsewhere. I'm not only incredibly grateful for our financial security.

Of course any financial security we have is in large part due to our jobs. I'm thankful for my job. I'm thankful for having had the courage to make the changes I did last year. Because of those this year has been new, exciting, and certainly full of learning. I'm also thankful for D's job - mainly because he loves it. He's made a number of changes and finally he's someplace he loves that doesn't treat him poorly.

I'm thankful for the opportunity to be a parent, and to be carrying what shows all signs of being a healthy baby. In the past two weeks I've had both an ultrasound and a heartbeat check and all seems well. I'm feeling good, and I'm excited for the baby to actually arrive.

I'm thankful for my husband, D. He's my very best friend and knows me better than anyone. We'll be celebrating our 10th anniversary in 2008! That's flown by too. I'm thankful to have found my partner so early in life, and that we communicate as well as we do.

I'm thankful for my family and friends. I have somewhat of a small family and we're spread all over the country. On top of that we're not all that close. I'm still thankful to have them though, and I'm thankful for my friends because I think of them as family.

I can't honestly think of anything for which I'm not thankful. I feel like my list is short but it's either list the big ones and stop or keep going on and on and on. I'm happy with my life and of course like many/most other people I can get greedy and want more and more. Overall though, I am happy and feel like I have more than my fair share of blessings.

Feng Shui Fixes

Okay, if I have to tell you then you may not know me all that well . . . I'm a little "granola." I'm a vegetarian. I keep the environment in mind when making quite a few of my decisions. I see a naturopath and have made sure my primary physician is willing to work with her. I also have a feng-shui consultant for my home.
We had our f-s consultant out to the house about two weeks ago. This is her second time helping us. The first time we went over every bit of the house inside and out. We had three pages of recommendations sorted into priorities (now, sooner than later, and someday). We also learned enough general guidelines to to help us make decisions throughout out that list and beyond. This past visit was to help us with just a few specific items. She wasn't here nearly as long, and our to-do list was only a few lines long.
So what IS feng-shui? Well, I'm paraphrasing based on my view and understanding from various things I've read on the topic. Feng-shui is an ancient eastern (Chinese I believe) study. In it's eastern form it's very complicated but here in the west it's been simplified a bit to gain the same basic endpoint. That endpoint is balance and harmony in your environment which will translate into balance and harmony in your life. Obviously there's more to both . . . there's more to feng-shui than just that and there's of course more to having balance and harmony in your life than just feng-shui.
Many of our home improvements stemmed from our first meeting with our consultant. It wasn't so much the recommendations she made as much as what we learned. We weren't that happy in our house - it didn't feel like us. After living here for something like 7 years we still felt like strangers here. It wasn't a home.
In the end, between the tweaks we made based on her suggestions, and all the work we put into the house with remodeling - we love it now. It's our home and it reflects us. We feel comfortable in it and can see ourselves staying here indefinitely. Before we were constantly considering moving.
This past visit, the consultant went into other aspects of balance and harmony. We'd already de-cluttered, made repairs, and updated quite a few rooms to better suite us. This time some of the items included making a gratitude list, and considering keeping a gratitude journal. I've done the list, but I've never been good at journaling. I'll probably share much of that list closer to Thanksgiving.

My new pastime

I've been reading quite a bit lately. For years now I've always had a book or two I was in the process of reading. But I'm so slow. I wasn't always a slow reader. In middle school, and again during college summer breaks I was a voracious reader. Since then I've struggled. I was thrilled when I made it through Anna Karenina in about 4 months. Now I'm reading books nearly as long in about just a couple weeks though. The tides have turned!

I've found the author Phillippa Gregory. I love history (even if it's woven into fiction), and Tudor England is one of my favorite time periods. I'm savoring each of her books . . . The Other Boleyn Girl, The Boleyn Inheritance, The Queen's Fool. I love them. In fact, I've been squeezing in other books between hers to make her series last longer. I only have one left in the stack, The Virgin's Lover. I'm reading them in chronological order, which is why I'm not counting The Constant Princess as one I plan to read; I should have gotten to it first. Though I will probably circle back and read it too - I'm obsessed.

Another author I'm reading quite a bit from is Gregory Maguire. I started with Wicked because the Broadway show came to town this summer. I really liked it. In fact, it made me dislike the musical. I was so invested in the characters as they were developed in the book, that I found the musical's portrayal insulting. Funny, because in actuality it's The Wizard of Oz that's the "original." I've yet to find the sequel (Son of a Witch) at 1/2 Price Books so I've moved on to his other works (Tales of an Ugly Stepsister, and Mirror Mirror) until I find it.

I'm also reading bookclub selections between historical fiction pieces. This is the third go 'round for our workplace bookclub. I've been somewhat involved in facilitating each time and I have to say this is the last. It's either going to be "third time's a charm" or "three strikes and you're out." Last month (the first for this series) was an odd fantasy book, The Eyre Affair. It was difficult to get into but in the end reasonably enjoyable. Bookclub highlighted quite a few shared annoyances and flaws but really as I read it I did enjoy it - I wasn't taking it that seriously (not that I think any of the other readers were either). I just finished this month's selection - Eat, Pray, Love. I'd heard about it from friends, seen it on Oprah but still continued to be hesitant towards it. I didn't honestly know what it was about, but maybe subconsciously I did. I tend to avoid books on spirituality. And I mean spirituality, not religion (though I don't read those either). So maybe I subconsciously knew how much this book was going to focus on spirituality and how I didn't want that challenge entering my full consciousness. But I read it and I really enjoyed it. As usual, when I find myself reading and enjoying a spiritual book it's not as bad or threatening as I may have worried it would be. This book is quite a bit travel memoir but it's very obviously more than that. I really enjoyed it and could see myself reading it again - focusing on some of the more subtle messages that had begun to resonate with me (but then I turned the page). It's written in three parts and while I like parts of each I mostly enjoyed part II (India) and the beginning of part III (Indonesia).

Now I need to start thinking about the next bookclub selection. Last go around we drew books from a hat, but this time I just look around and talk to people and choose what feels right or sounds fitting - something I want to read (just in case I'm the only one who participates). The next selection will run over the holidays so I think it's important that it's light and enjoyable - nothing to heavy. I won't pull What is the What back in from the last series; it was the beginning of the end for bookclub last time. It was a bit daunting but I really enjoyed it and recommend it to anyone.

So that's my new favorite pastime. My DVR is getting a workout since I watch nothing from primetime in primetime now. I read and catch up on only those shows that made the final DVR cut earlier in the evening or on weekends. It's working out very well.

Busy Bees

We're settling down with the remodeling now that fall is setting in. We've been really busy over the past 18 months or so. Now it's time to just enjoy what we've done. We started simple with wanting/needing to have our trim repainted. We choose a chocolatey purply color called Carib Chip. I love it. But from painting things snowballed. We ended up replacing all our windows because they were in such bad shape it made no sense to paint their trim as-is. We qualified for a commercial rate - nice (23 windows -and that's just the ones we replaced).
Next came all new floors (bamboo). That was just for us though, but I think it will add to resale value too. I love them and they've made me love the house. The old floors were horribly cracked and grooved; they'd collect fur and cat litter bits from kitty paws - obviously making the house look and feel dirty all the time. After that we thought we were done with big stuff. Concentrating on small, more weekend warrior type jobs, we replaced the front porch flooring, painted a couple rooms, installed new lighting in 90% of our rooms, upgraded our electric box and had a stair runner installed.
Then this summer we decided to dive in to the bathroom remodel - another big job. Part way through planning & getting quotes, we added on the laundry room remodel (and shoe-horning in a 1/2 bath) so we'd have some plumbing to use while the upstairs was out of commission. I'm really glad we went that route. Those tasks are done too - finally.
Now we have a new washer & dryer in the new laundry room/half-bath. Our upstairs bath is also completly redone - gone is the 4ft clawfoot tub and separate stall shower. Instead we have a fullsize tub with a tile surround. We considered one of those shower inserts that is pretty standard but in the end went with custom tile. We have two long but thin windows in our shower, and I would have hated to lose them. Now they are tiled and double as shelves for all my shampoos. Don't worry, they're just below the ceiling of our 2nd story so it's nothing exhibitionist or anything. Only the squirrels in our black walnut tree can catch a glimpse of anything.
It's a relief to have it all done. Not that I did much, what we didn't hire out D did. At best my role was project management. All we have left for the fall is to install gutters on our sunroom. Then this winter's list is de-cluttering and setting up the nursery. Come spring I think we'll be even more glad we tackled all of this when we did. We'll be a bit overwhelmed & preoccupied with a whole new person.

Laziness

I'm still here. I haven't written in who knows how long - I could easily look but I'd just assume remain ignorant. The only reason I can settle on for why I have not written is pure laziness. I sit next to the laptop each evening but I can't bring myself to even turn it on let alone create complete sentences. I've even had enough things going on (all, okay most, non-baby too) to actually blog about but no.
I'm back though - if I have any readers left (not sure how many I had to start with though). You can look forward to blogs updating everyone on our home remodels, our bookcase drama, feng shui fixes, and of course baby stuff.

Light at the end of the tunnel

Yes, I feel like we're beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel - the bathroom remodeling tunnel. This morning was the first time in over 2 weeks since I've showered at home. And it was in the new shower! There's still plenty to be done including painting, priming, vanity/sink installation, toilet installation, plus all the little things like mirrors, towel rods, etc.

Last but not least, will be the built-in. We are struggling to find a way to get doors that will match the stain on the vanities. The problem is that we bought the vanities at Ikea and they seem to have their own special stains. It does not appear you can purchase them either, which I think is something they should consider. So now we go about trying to find already matching doors by chance, or finding someone to stain unfinished doors for us (to match).

My house is in a rough state with all the linen closet contents in the guest room; the downstairs is filled with construction bits and items left to be installed; my new half bath/laundry room has not been trimmed out and boxes of tile are still being stored in there. It's a feng-shui nightmare around here. It will take us weeks upon weeks to get things organized and by then we'll have baby stuff to deal with.


That leads me to the other mess - our sunroom. It's filled with stuff we don't want. I have photographed it all for Craigslist (most of it will be free) but I have not listed it. A few items will actually be sold and I can't seem to figure out a price. I don't really care how much I get at this point, I just want all the stuff gone. I try to ignore the room is full of crap or that it couldn't possibly take me that long to post free stuff online if I'd just do it. I seem to spend plenty of time on the couch with the laptop these days so I feel I have no excuse.

I'm calling Cherish Your World today. That's our feng-shui consultant. I hope to have her back out here this month or maybe next but definitely before the holidays. That means I have to get the crap in the sunroom out of here. And we have to get the bathroom finished. I'm hoping have a date scheduled with her will motivate us, well mainly me.

3 Rs

I'm aware I have not posted in awhile. I don't really want this blog to become all baby all the time. But I'm a little consumed by that already. I do feel a lot better, but not yet consistently good. And I'm still very tired, I think that may be in part due to my thyroid and not just the baby. We'll see at my next doctor appointment when they do bloodwork.

Unless you are anti-television, I’d guess you’ve noticed the new fall season has started. I don’t watch a ton of television and these days I watch everything after the fact thanks to my DVR. I’ve had to make some cuts but hopefully it’s only temporary. I’ve CSI, Desperate Housewives, and even Heroes. I just don’t have time to keep up. But I’m thinking once I get through The War miniseries from PBS that I’ll have more time for old favorites or maybe something new like Pushing Daisies.

Speaking of television, and specifically The War I have to comment on it. In fact it’s what’s brought me back to the blog. I’ve always been interested in history. I’m not sure if it’s genetic (my dad’s a history teacher, or was) or because I was raised grading history tests, playing teacher using TEs my dad opted not to go with, and watching history-related television (and current events of course). In any case, I love to read history based books. I especially love those that are nonfiction but read like fiction (i.e. Devil in the White City) or those that are completely fiction but whose author is so well-versed in the time period they are writing about that you can believe the backdrop of the story nearly completely (i.e. Philippa Gregory novels).

My grandfather fought in World War II and it’s a part of history I have particular interest in. I think it may actually be because I didn’t hear stories from him about his experience, but saw his photos. I’m in the middle of episode three, The Deadly Call. Most of the episodes are similar, footage run together with the narrator explaining the battle, background, etc. But a good portion of this episode dealt with life at home, specifically with the raw materials people gathered to help the war effort. Tin, scrap metal, aluminum, even left over animal fat from cooking was all needed by the military. D was watching with me and noted how amazing it was that the time of greatest Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle was in the 1940s. Everything was rationed and everyone took part in recycling. People cleaned out their garages and kitchens for metal to donate. They cleaned and crushed cans for weekly pickup, and they saved their used cooking fat in containers and dropped them off at collection centers. Meanwhile a good number of areas around Columbus don’t have recycling programs. And I’m sure even in areas with recycling a large number of households don’t utilize it. Weird, and sad.

writing

Why do you write?
It's this question, or more so the answer to this question that feeds my inner critic and halts my writing dead in its tracks.
This past week, the subject of writing has come up a number of times, in a number of ways, from a number of people. First D commented that I should be journaling more online (separate thing from this) and generally writing more. A few days later AJ laughs at what to me is one more oddity of my life, but one I've managed to spin and amuse her with - she says I should be writing about this stuff. Later, I read that the author of a blog I frequent has taken a hiatus - to write more. Then I get an essay to proof from another friend, this is big. This gets my attention.
We used to keep each other writing like we kept each other walking or running. It was she I spent a week with in CO - fueling my inner critic. Well, I was supposed to be learning all kinds of writing tidbits from acclaimed author Dorothy Allison. Instead my inner critic was given a week long buffet to feed on - a buffet of how I was not so qualified, inspired, interesting or worthy. No, Ms. Allison didn't say much if any of that, though if you've met her or heard her speak it would not surprise you if she did. Regardless, that's the message I got, and I've not written since. Well, I blog and I occasionally do the online "journal" thingy. The inner critic is the reigning champion and I'm not up for a fight.
Besides - why do I write? Why do you write? Why do they write? Who? They - those authors and writers I met so many of in 2004-2005 - so many of them said they write "because they have to."
Ah, more nourishment for inner critic. I don't have to write. I have nothing internally driving me to write other than a desire to do so. The same desire I have to learn to paint or start my own business someday. Someday. I don't HAVE TO do anything except eat and sleep and breathe. Past that I'd add on exercise because I really do feel my body insists I do that. But I do not feel incomplete if I do not write. I do not have to write.
I failed the first test. The first test all those writers haughtily gave to wannabes at their feet. Not all of them, but most. I hated hearing it. I wanted someone to say they wrote because they were good at it or because it was the livelihood they fell into. I wanted something attainable. I felt immediately removed from the writers' club. Add to that my novice abilities and general stick-in-the-mud personality when it comes to these matters (trying new things, pushing forward, etc.) and I was done, finished, and glad for it.
But now the topic comes back. There's a knock at the door, then another and then another. I hear it. But I still have only a novice's ability in my opinion. Why? Because I'm not schooled in writing and I'm all about needing the rules given to me before I begin. I cannot learn while I go! I'll mess it up. Besides, I have nothing to write about. I live a most uninteresting life and can barely find enough tidbits to fill this blog let alone more. And what or who am I writing for and in what format? Essay, journal, article - for myself or others or what? Ugh. How about nothing for anyone. And last but not least - there's the question. The one the inner critic always uses when I think I've gotten around the other issues she presents.
Why do you write?

#31

My last pre-mommie birthday has come and gone. It was good!
I was instructed to arrive to work a little late Thursday morning. This wasn't a problem because I had to clean the back porch at 6:30 in the morning. Cleo took one step out and pee'd. She smelled a skunk nearby, and having been sprayed a few years ago she wanted nothing to do with it. So she wasn't planning on going any further into the yard. Ugh. It was dark out and I didn't want to venture in a skunky yard either to find the hose so I took jugs of water out and washed the porch off.
When I arrived at work, I saw my tropically decorated cubicle. I was just starting to let St. John filter out of my cells and suddenly it was back. I'm not complaining! The cubicle was covered in aqua tissue paper and pictures of fish - plus there were signs to the beaches, coconuts & a Ting! The floor was even covered in tissue paper "water."
Next was lunch out at CPK - yum. That was fun plus D surprised me by showing up with flowers! I'm omitting the chocolate he brought because I still can't eat it - maybe next month. I knew ice cream was waiting back in the office, and 1/2 that Ting Soda. [Ting is a grapefruit soda made in Jamaica and sold throughout the West Indies. It's super yummy and can be ordered online - I need to do that.] I waited as long as I could (3:35 exactly) for Ting and ice cream but I just couldn't wait any longer. I had Lime Cardamom and Strawberry Buttermilk ice cream - so good. It was from Jeni's.
After work D & I went to Sr. Antonio's for my favorite salsa and cheese enchiladas. I didn't get sick - it was great. At home I got a snuggly nap set as a bday gift. Best of all, not only did we pay of my student loans for my birthday, BUT D checked his balance and it was pretty low so he paid it off too! No more student loans! WOO-HOO!. I even stayed up late last night (9:30pm - crazy, I know).
Today I took a vacation day and slept in. I'm feeling a lot better today and haven't even had to eat every 2hrs. I hope this is a change for the better and setting a trend of feeling better through fall, winter & spring. Tonight friends are joining me for dinner at the Melting Pot - and maybe if I'm still feeling good and not exhausted, a movie.

31 days of - the update

This week will mark the end of August and hence the end of ther 31 days of Shannon turning 31. How's it been? Eh.

I had high hopes that lists would be made (by me) of different, amusing (to me) things to do each day. But that was July 31st & August 1st.

By August 2nd I arrived in Texas to find AJ had bought a cake for me and had it decorated to read "to 31s." It was so nice! Unfortunately, only a few hours earlier I had run to the airport bathroom to dig a sugary snack out of my mouth before it made me puke. Since then I've been off sweets. Sure, I eat the occasional ice cream or chocolate toast but nothing else. No cakes, no solid chocolate, absolutely no chocolate covered graham crackers from Starbucks (see airport incident). I felt so bad I couldn't partake in the cake treat.

August 2nd marked a new age, one that would rock my 31 days of Shannon turning 31 to its core. It was morning sickness - well, all day sickness really. It took me a ridiculous number of days to learn the simple tricks to make life liveable. While in TX, I actually thought I was gonna get fired because there would not be enough sick days for me to take off 2+ months and I couldn't function as is. But once I learned that I just needed a snack or small meal (with some protein) every 2 hours, plus Pepcid at night to sleep (oh and Unisom) then I became human again. So I've been actually living the 31 days of Shannon eating, eating, sleeping, eating, eating, ugh I hate food & I'm tired.

I'm just now entering month three and hope the icky feeling will begin to taper off. I can't really be upset about my 31 days being hijacked. And the silver lining is that I've stopped obsessing. I live day by day, and sometimes 2hrs by 2hrs. It feels somewhat freeing, though I would still take obsessing over nauseau - duh. I'm just hoping as nausea fades (oh please let it fade) I will not replace my free time with obsessing. I hope this is a turning point, and a birthday present to myself.

sharing [Gaffigan style]

I'm an oversharer, but on this topic [What topic? Oversharing? Did I miss something? I'm confused already. Hmmm, maybe I'm not going to like this blog.] I've done pretty well I think. I don't know, maybe the whole customary/traditional wait-time for sharing on this topic [WTF? What topic does she keep referencing. I think she may have lost her mind.] is falling to the wayside these days, like white shoes after Labor Day. So after many weeks of not discussing this here, I'm ready to share. [Well, it's about time, missy.]

I'm pregnant. Due in April. :)

Kitty Cat Claws

We got a stair runner installed this week. Yeah! No more carrying the dog (Zulu) up the stairs. Though he’s still hesitant, we know he won’t slide so he has to make it up himself. Sometimes he runs right up but for unknown reasons other times he still scoots up backwards on his butt. Odd.
The kitties love the new runner. They’ve missed carpet in the house. D immediately purchased a catnip ridden scratching post for them which now sits on the stair landing. It beckons to them – ‘why scratch this carpet when you could get high scratching this.’ I hope it works. I have seen lots of fur on the steps, and often I have to step over a nappy Tate. The stair runner is supposed to make the stairs safer – no one apparently told Tate though.
Next on the home improvement docket? Well, D is painting the front porch so technically that will be finished next. However, the next big project to be started will be the addition of a ½ bath to our laundry room. I think D is scheduling with the plumber for their soonest open slot. Once this room is done we can move upstairs to remodel that bathroom. Yeah! We should have done this sooner.

jumped on the bandwagon . . .

ISTJs are responsible, loyal and hard working. They have an acute sense of right and wrong and work hard at preserving established norms and traditions. Because of their deep sense of duty they are dedicated to everything they do and are very dependable. ISTJs care deeply for those closest to them.


Lots of presidents are ISTJ . . . okay, only 6 out of 43.
Real ISTJ People
Andrew Johnson - American President
Benjamin Harrison - American President
Elizabeth II - Queen of England
George H. W. Bush - American President
George Washington - American President
Harry Truman - American President
Herbert Hoover - American President
Jackie Joyner-Kersee - athlete (heptathlon)
Warren Buffet - investor, businessman

Spare time

I haven’t felt like I’ve had a lot of spare time lately, so hence not much blog time. Of course the lapse in time lends itself perfectly to a list-style blog entry.

I went to CPK for ACG’s birthday today. I had leftovers that I had to graffiti with my name and the date. T recently had her CPK leftover pizza stolen from the refrigerator. Who does that? What has our work environment turned into? So as the afternoon slump hit, my mind turned to a slice of pizza as a snack and pick-me-up. I envisioned walking into the pantry, opening the door and my pizza being gone. Then I’d have to walk the halls – each and ever row – looking for the box in someone’s trash. I’d find it of course and leave huge red-Sharpie notes all over the cubicle stating “Caught!” and “THIEF.” I even went so far as to contemplate taking my cell phone so I could get a picture of the perp and post it on the fridge for all to see. Lucky for the potential perp, the pizza was safe and sound – and yummy.

I went to Texas this past weekend. It was the big move weekend. My sister-in-law moved out there at the start of the new year and by April it was decided my mother-in-law would also move out there. So D, and his sister and I spent time in April choosing a new home for her (by home I mean nursing home). We narrowed it down, but one stuck out as the best. They have a new social director who seemed open to residents’ ideas for activities. D’s mom loves all the social activities and would have tons of ideas. Plus this place has a live-in dog and birds – and they seemed more kid-friendly than the other stuffier locations. And after all she was moving down there to be closer to her grandkids. Though D did note the first place had a “hot” admissions woman. Surely this would rank as high on the list of demands for his mom.

The weekend was okay. It was sweltering and I was sick most of the time. But I got a lot of quality time with AJ and baby K, pool time, and a birthday party for D’s sister’s kids. A dual party . . . . 1-yr for her son & 2-yr for her daughter. I’m really glad to be home though. I’m not feeling completely back to myself, but I am feeling better. I really think once the Ohio heat wave dissipates I’ll feel even better.

I went to . . . nowhere. I just wanted to start yet another sentence like that to be lame. Ha! We had our air ducts cleaned yesterday. I was super excited about this and could have overlooked the turning off of our A/C for a few hours during the hottest part of the day on possibly the hottest day of the year. However, I could not overlook the smell. Apparently they backed their diesel spewing truck up to the house to hook the hoses up to, and then the house proceeded to fill with diesel fumes. Nice. WTF? Can the company not swing getting their trucks exhausts taken care of? Really? Will it be cheaper to clean my house when I call and rant at them? It’s disgusting. The downstairs still smelled this morning and some of my things smell too. And these are things I brought home after work, when the truck was long gone. Rowr!

You may be wondering (or maybe not) how our other home improvements are going. The front porch is nearly done, just needs painted. The bathrooms have quotes in the mail. I think landscaping is off the list now. It’s rather late in the season, and it’s been too hot and dry for our poor plants anyway. Next year we’ll do more on that front and maybe add a hammock. The outside room has had all the stuff photographed so now we just need to put it all on Craigslist. A couple things may end up on Ebay, but really at this point it’s all about to end up in the front yard on trash day with a “FREE” sign on it. I want to be able to use my room! We’re planning to make it into an office/outdoor den. It’ll have an enormous TV that anyone is welcome to steal. It weighs like 200lbs and once it’s gone we’ll get a newer, nicer, lighter, locked down one. Somehow I think it’ll be safe and sound out there. Hmmm, what else? Oh yes. The stair runner is on order and installation will be scheduled soon. I’m super excited because our little dog, Zulu won’t go up the stairs on his own. He slips too much on the new wood and he’s afraid. So we have to carry him. It’s ridiculous and must stop.

Okay, that's it for now.

31 Flavors

No, it’s not another blog about cupcakes. There are plenty of full-time cupcake blogs out there. I cannot, nor do I want to, compete with those. Guess again?
No, it’s not about Baskin Robbins ice cream, or ice cream in general. In fact, it’s not about food at all. At least I don’t think so. Sometimes my blog entries surprise me by where they end up.
Okay, so what’s my other favorite thing to blog about, other than random lists? I do love lists. Birthdays! Specifically, and selfishly, my birthday.

Today is August 1st. And that begins the 31 days of Shannon turning 31. I’m taking the idea from AJ, though I’m rather certain she’s never named any of her April month-long birthday celebrations. She does celebrates the entire month though, and so shall I. I’m just not sure how I’ll be celebrating each day, but I will find a way. Everything will culminate on or near the 30th of course, but I will also have to plan something for the 31st so the final day is not anti-climactic.
If you have celebration ideas, send them my way. So far everything sounds like too much work – like cooking and baking ideas. Trouble is, I spoil myself all the time. At least, I think I do. Rarely is there something I don’t do, buy or eat if I really want to. So finding 31 special things may be difficult. I'm not even sure what today will hold. We’ll see.

Ha-Ha

What do you think of, or really what do you hear when you see "Ha-Ha." At first I heard part of a belly laugh ha-ha-ha. But now, now I hear a mocking phrase, something that Bart or Homer Simpson might say "ha-ha."
D & I went to Yellow Springs this weekend to eat, shop and ride our bikes on the Little Miami Bike path. We arrived just before lunchtime so we walked up and down the streets checking out the stores. Each store promised to be even more exciting than the last with names like Pangea Trading Co., Garden of the Goddess, and Asian Imports. But alas, for the most part each store had the same kitchy stuff and none were memorable. We didn't go into the art galleries, but I'd hope there we would have found more original and interesting items for sale.
After shopping, we headed to Ha-Ha Pizza. It was directly beside the bike path, and seemed like a better option than the Winds Cafe which would have been more of a sit-down, fullservice place. We took a seat in the only open booth, and waited. Finally we grabbed menus, and the owner/waiter noticed us and apologized. He got our drink order, and then our pizza order. This took longer than I would have liked, but I was obeying the sign on above the salad bar which read something like "quality takes time, please be patient." Hmmm. That should have been a sign.
We watched pizzas come out, wondering how long those people had waited. We saw people get up and leave because they were never helped, and we saw a family get the wrong item only to have its replacement out within 10 minutes. So a pizza CAN indeed be made in 10 minutes there. How long for our two 9-inch pizzas? FORTY minutes! Yes, 40 minutes! Really? And it wasn't even that good. I have the nasty-assed leftovers in my fridge if you don't believe me. Ugh. We wasted all of our hiking time there. I would have rather frequented the Subway across the street. Rowr! I was not a happy camper. And as we left, I noticed all the health code violations going on in the kitchen. Great.
After that, I had food and anger energy for biking. We headed out, but after about 6 miles we realized we were nearly out of time, at least if we still wanted to get ice cream at Young's Dairy. So we turned around, biked to ice cream, then headed back to the car and home. I don't think I'll be visiting Yellow Springs again in the near future. I'm quite disillusioned by the place - on the surface it's so cute and holds such potential! Next time, I'm heading north to the Kokosing bike path.

I find that I'm biking at least twice a month. Honestly, I like hiking better but I think the change in routine is good now and then. I walk all week on the treadmill or around town, so biking is a nice change, I just prefer hiking.

Peanut Butter Mini Cupcakes

I bought a couple cupcake books last week during the height of my cupcake obsession. One is supposedly the only cupcake compendium I will ever need (500 Cupcakes), but I actually like the other better, Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World.
This weekend, I visited Pink Moon cupcake shop in Powell. Very cute. I had the double-chocolate cupcake but personally found the buttercream frosting too overpowering. Maybe the chocolate cake just wasn't chocolately enough for me. D had a dark chocolate cupcake with some chocolate chip cheesecake baked on top, and THEN cream cheese frosting. Well, I hate cream cheese frosting in general, but the cake part of his was superb.
I spent a good part of yesterday building up my baking supplies. I don't bake often and my supplies were either gone or in tatters. I decided to go with quality pieces. I visited William Sonoma for the cupcake pans, and I was surprised to see they were nearly the same price as what I'd seen at a department store. I visited a few other stores to pick up all the other bits and pieces and then went home to bake. Yeah, I stopped and got the ingredients too. I don't even have flour and sugar on hand regularly. Maybe I just need to completely overhaul my cupboards so I can find the stuff if I do have it.
Anyway, I let D choose the first cupcake flavor. Not surprisingly he chose Peanut Butter Cupcakes (with chocolate ganache). Since these are going to work with me (and some with D) I decided to make mini cupcakes that would go farther. We taste tested them last night and give them a thumbs up! So now it's up to you, my readers from MGH, come get a mini cupcake today and let me know what you think!
I'm going to try to do this weekly. We'll see. I'm not sure what flavor is next week, but the week after a certain flavor has already been requested: Crimson Velveteen Cupcakes (think red velvet but not dayglo red).

For those of you not able to get to MGH or D's store for a sample. At least enjoy the picture below:

As if.

Main Entry: ob·ses·sion
Pronunciation: äb-'se-sh&n, &b-
Function: noun
1 : a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling

Though not listed as a derivative of the word obsession – I’m an obsesser, obsessing over obsessions and most anything else as well. I’m not sure where this “disturbing” behavior comes from. My obsessions are not normally anything I’d call unreasonable though the amount of time I've spent delving into them could easily be labeled unreasonable.

Cesar Milan, aka the Dog Whisperer, talks about obsession in dogs. Dogs that are obsessed with their shadows, water, running, barking, etc. These dogs he says are unbalanced. His remedy is always the same, okay normally the same. The dogs need to find their place in the pack and take comfort in that. Often times the dogs also need to expend energy and do work.

Is it the same with humans? Am I obsessing because I have too much pent-up energy or because I’m not fulfilling myself with work? Is it a flaw (bad) or a quirk (cute)? I’m not sure. Sometimes it feels like a weight and other times it feels fun – isn’t that how an addict would describe their drug though? That’s ominous.

Anyway, only two short months after my vacation I find myself obsessing again. Obsessing over finances, home repair, ancient Mayan ruins, even cupcakes to name just a few items. I can’t seem to just live each day for the sake of that day. I don’t feel stressed. I don’t feel stagnant. In reality I feel like I’m full of ideas and momentum.

So why can’t I just be? I’m good for awhile and then blah. As soon as I get what I’d been planning or obsessing over I just move on to something else. I was listening to a cd about being present and then I stopped. I was doing well; it was boring me; I stopped. I think I need to revisit the idea of being present. I’m an obsession junkie – a planning, research, organization, list-making junkie – and once I allow myself to do any such thing it snowballs. I can’t have even one list. Not one future desire my mind can continually re-focus on and analyze until it hurts.

This penchant for planning could be seen as a gift. Someday perhaps I'll learn to use it for good and not evil. Until then I have to go cold turkey and become present.

Everything's coming up cupcakes!

I’ve never been that into cake, or cupcakes, but lately cupcakes have been popping up everywhere – no, not literally, well kind of literally.

I love dessert. I’m sure someone out there doesn’t, but I think they’re abnormal and quite frankly un-American. Our love of desserts, and overall addiction to sugary goodness might as well be placed in the constitution. Of course there are sides to be taken, and more than the traditional two parties. Do you favor cake, ice cream, candy or something else? Years ago while in Weight Watchers I decided I would cut out all desserts unless they were chocolate. Since chocolate is my favorite, if I was going to use the points it should be on that and that alone. It worked very well, but now I’ve begun to expand my dessert horizons. Chocolate has its place, but it’s also quite cliché. I’m multi-dimensional so how can I have but 1 dessert option?

Nearly nine years ago, I made a deal with my mom. I’d get married indoors, and hence within the Catholic dogma (long story short: we wanted to be married outdoors but my diocese wouldn’t allow that so the issue became outdoors vs. Catholic service) if my mother made the pie for our reception. Pie? Yes, pie. I’ve never been a huge fan of cake, or icing. But homemade, fruity pies are oh so delicious. With an August wedding, why not take advantage of the available fresh fruit and do pies – homemade pies? And so a deal was cut – pies for indoors. Done. Why am I relating this? Sigh. Did you miss the one sentence in there about cake? Yes, it’s true; I’m not a huge fan of cake still. I’m even more particular about icing. And cupcakes are indeed mini-cakes so why are they infiltrating my life, and why have I entered into a possible obsession over them?

I’m not sure where the idea of cupcakes first entered my consciousness (recently). At this month’s gallery hop, D & I strolled around looking at all kinds of artwork. I saw fewer than half a dozen pieces that I liked at all. One piece was a small 5x7 oil painting of a single chocolate cupcake with white frosting. I picked it up to get a closer look. We were in an antique store / art gallery and this piece was placed on a small table too close to the ground to see without picking it up or plopping my butt down. It was much too crowded for the latter. Of course the shop owner saw me, and came over eager to tell me all about the piece and its creator. I didn’t know the artist though the shop keeper told me her name as if I should. I was also told that this small painting was available for $600 and that in the front room a smaller, pink frosted cupcake by the same artist was available for $400. What? Seriously? Okay, in her defense, if there is a famous cupcake artist out there and I’m just ignorant then, fine – let me know. Personally, I had a moment not unlike some I’ve had in modern art museums where I think hmm, “I could do that.”

Maybe two weeks later, while shopping at Barnes & Nobles I swear I saw a sign about cupcakes. I went over to it, expecting books on cupcakes but there were none. I can no longer remember if the sign was a mirage or actually there. Well, the sign was actually there, but I can’t recall if it really mentioned cupcakes or not. Later that evening while unsuccessfully looking for a 5-ingredient (or fewer) vegetarian cookbook at Barnes & Noble, I found myself in the baking section so I decided to look for the elusive cupcake cookbook. There was only one, but it was quite cute. I had no plans to actually make cupcakes and had no need for the book so we headed to checkout with our other goods. As we were leaving, I was reminded that I had wanted a snack from their café (a pseudo Starbucks). And what did my eyes spy as I walked up? Cupcakes!!!! I bought two, one of each flavor (double fudge; lemon blueberry). The next morning I photographed them on various decorated plates – then I ate them. Yum.

Yes, “yum.” Maybe I’m just really particular about cake. I did leave the lemon blueberry one on my plate, a little cupcake corpse. It didn’t live up to my high cake standards. The double fudge though was amazing, and go figure it fit well within my chocolately dessert boundaries. Next? I may actually bake some cupcakes. Stay tuned.

a change in my name

At this point I'm thinking just changing the blog name to "Learning to List," "Lists of random crap," or "My life in lists" would be more accurate of what I'm doing here. Indeed, today I again have no one subject to write about, yet the blog calls me to post an entry. I have no one thing to write about, though when doing these lists something always stands out to me.



My art classes are done for now. I took 2 at my local community art place and they are done. I'm not sure if I'll take more or not. I have purchased some beginner essentials for drawing and watercolor, but I have not done either on my own. Shock. I need to find down time first. As my lack of blogging might indicate, I've been busy.

Our trip to TX is drawing near. Flights are booked, plans are being discussed, movers are being called. I volunteered to babysit my niece and nephew one afternoon. I'm not sure what I'm getting into, but I'm sure I can handle it. They seem very well behaved. I'm a little rusty on diaper changing, but I recall it's rather self-explanatory. Soon all of my in-laws and a very sizeable portion of my family (maternal side) will be living in the country, um I mean state, of Texas. ;)

The summer of house remodeling is underway. We have bids in from 1 of 3 plumbers and hope to have the rest by the end of the month. The front porch has no floor currently but by end-of-day tomorrow it will have a brand new one. This weekend I'll be getting some plants for out there - yeah! We've found a carpet company we think we like, but now we have to find a carpet we like that doesn't "smile." We have three samples here, but of course they all make this face and I'm concerned about that. I need to do more research and check a few more samples. I can't wait until I no longer have to carry a scardy-cat dog up our stairs!

While remodeling, I'm also working to get artwork in storage framed and hung. I got a matt-cutter a couple years ago, but I've yet to really understand how to use - or use it. This is the stumbling block for getting the rest of the pieces up. Perhaps I can focus and master it this weekend. I'm also trying to locate the best place/way to print a photo onto canvas and have it stretched. I have all my beach pictures that are jumping at the chance to live outside the computer.

Typing is messing with my newly painted fingernails so I need to stop. Vanity wins here. I can't have smushed polish on my nails!

Dinner?!?!

I got the email below from my friend, AJ. I have the same issue she does. So I’m planning to take part in her recipe share idea. I only hope I can scavenge a few vegetarian meals from what gets sent in, or maybe things I can tweak.
Anyway, I thought one or more of my readers may be interested too. Let me know via comment or email.


*************************************
From: Amanda
Sent: July 12, 2007

Hi Everyone,

I am struggling lately with dinner ideas.... I either end up making the same things over and over or not cooking at all (mostly the latter). Any others have the same issue??

Here is what I am proposing - Let's share our favorite, go to, best and easiest, healthy, make in a pinch recipes with each other!

If you are interested in participating, please send me an email letting me know. Once I have collected all of the interested parties, I will send out a second email to that group. From then on I will ask folks to use 'reply all' and start sharing those favorite recipes with the group. In the end, we will all have a large list of GO-TO, GREAT recipes!

Please feel free to forward this email - the more participating the better.
Thanks and happy cooking!

Amanda

Independence Day

As a kid, I remember most if not all holidays being spent at my grandparents’ home. It was a tiny little house, maybe 800 sq ft. Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve were memorable with all of us, sometimes as many as 25 or more people, crammed into the house. Summer holidays were a little better because we could be outside. Fourth of July included a bbq, playing in the sprinkler or walking back to the creek, and usually fireworks set off by my dad and uncles. I remember all of these fondly, and actually barely remember the year I got a concussion – maybe I was too young too remember. But I digress.
These fond childhood memories of all the holidays have created a lot of pressure for my current holidays. When my grandma dies, holidays changed and just were never the same. Maybe that’s what made the earlier holidays immediately cement themselves as being very precious. We still all celebrated together but sometimes we were at our home or one of my aunts’ homes. Once in college, engaged, and then married there was of course another change. In some ways it reverted back, just with large gatherings with D’s family and smaller ones with mine for whatever holidays. It wasn’t until we all started moving away that the holiday gatherings essentially ended.
I haven’t been to one in a year or more. In the meantime, I/we have been struggling to create our own traditions. We haven’t stumbled on anything yet, and we end up trying something different each year. Sometimes it’s good, but other times it’s “eh.” Christmas Eve and July 4th are the big ones. Thanksgiving is food, always will be so as long as you’re eating with people then it feels pretty normal. Easter, Memorial Day, and Labor Day aren’t that big of holidays in my mind and our family functions didn’t leave that strong an impression on me.
Yesterday was the 4th. I hadn’t even been thinking what I’d do considering it was in the middle of the week. But then T suggested we do something so we considered a few things – tubing on a river, going to the beach, biking or hiking. Water really needed to play a part so that narrowed things down even farther. We decided to stay close and try the tubing – it was available up near Mohican State Park. We drove up there somewhat early in the morning, considering it was a holiday, only to find the water temps were 70 with breezy mid-70s air temps. That was way too cold for me. If I had packed a rashguard maybe, but I’d left without any. We decided to trade in our tubing tickets for a canoe.
We started with T in front, D in the back and me riding princess-style in the center, no paddling required. There were a few little dips, or rock damns or something we had to traverse – and some super shallow areas – but otherwise it was smooth paddling. Well, we did run into those tree branches in the middle of that first S-curve, but it was fine. We avoided being hit by the mother –daughter-daughter canoe that had zero paddling skills it seemed. At least we avoided being hit that time. They did catch up to us later because we stopped along a sand bank (mud bank) to eat a snack. We tried to out paddle them but they kept paddling towards us. Why? C’mon steer or slow down or something! Annoying.
After our snack, I took the front paddling seat. I have only paddled once before and I was probably about 11. It took me a couple minutes to lose the flailing look, but after that I was fine – no longer being laughed at or feeling I deserved to be either. I settled in, stopped accidentally splashing T, and paddled away. It was really fun. We saw tubers, kayakers, and other canoers on the river too. We passed camp park after camp park and even some cabins and trailer parks. It wasn’t as scenic as it could have been, but it wasn’t bad at all. Parts were really, really pretty and smelled really good – that forest/river/outdoorsy smell. We’ll definitely go back. With all the dead fish and weird river foam, maybe we won’t go tubing, but I’d be willing to try kayaking – or even do canoeing again.
This 4th of July was good. We didn’t even see fireworks, but I still though it was good. Is it a tradition? Who knows. What’s more important is this year I didn’t miss tradition or feel like I needed to set one. The pressure I put on myself about holidays such as this was temporarily – or maybe permanently vanished. Freedom.

Sicko

This past Friday was the nationwide release date for Michael Moore’s new movie, Sicko. Michael Moore has taken the rank of most controversial film producer away from Oliver Stone and done so much more with the role. Love him, like him, or hate him he succeeds in at least getting you (and a good portion of the country) thinking, feeling and talking about issues. I’ve only seen two of his other films and they were quite a bit more partisan than Sicko, just based on where subject matter alone tends to fall politically. This film is far less partisan, thought I don’t think masses of conservatives will be flocking to see any Moore movie anytime soon, regardless of its content. If I’m proven wrong, fine. I shouldn’t think so narrowly anyway I suppose.

This film was on healthcare in the US. It’s not about the large number of our citizens living without healthcare. It didn’t delve into our existing social medicine programs either, Medicaid or Medicare. Its focus was on those of us with healthcare – either private healthcare or healthcare through our employers.

We met person after person, via interviews, who were denied care by their providers. While doctors deemed tests and procedures necessary to diagnosis and treat their patients, the healthcare providers disagreed. In essence this section of the movie boiled down to a) insurance companies are making medical decisions for our doctors and b) some insurance companies have bonuses setup so those employees who save the company more and more money by denying care get higher bonuses & promotions.

Another portion of the movie looked at healthcare in other countries. The study Moore sited lists the US as #37, just above Slovenia & Cuba. This study listed France and Italy as numbers 1 and 2. Moore visited Canada, Britain, and France. He talked to doctors and patients in each country. Of course the point here was to show that other countries do things differently but they are as healthy as us if not healthier. Moore sited a few studies (I don’t have the specifics) that showed even the poorest and most unhealthy UK citizen has a longer life expectancy than the richest and healthiest US citizens. The same was true in France. Why is this? The implication was that they have better healthcare. The citizens did not appear burdened by exorbitant taxes, and the doctors were making a very nice living just like US doctors. The point to this section is apparent – the US should consider socialized medicine for everyone – not just our elderly and poor. Our current system is broken; socialized medicine may be a good fix. It works elsewhere.

My thoughts on this are that if we even rank 1/2 as poorly as the study sites (#37) then we have 15-plus countries ranked higher than us that we could study to see what works and what doesn’t in their systems. We could take the best ideas and incorporate them into something amazing for ourselves and our fellow citizens. So in the end, I think the system is broken and does need fixed. But I don’t personally have any suggestions for how that should look. I know some of the problems and where changes might want to begin, but that’s it. I think most of us know where problems lie.

I believe the issue of healthcare is completely non-partisan. We all get sick; we all need good, reliable healthcare for ourselves, our friends, our families, our children. I really think we could make a change. The movie showed HMOs and healthcare as we know it having started in the early 1970s. That’s only 30 some years ago, so it shouldn’t be so ingrained in our society that it can’t change again.

See the movie. Let me know what you think. Better yet, let your representatives and senators know what you think – and your friends and families too.

Yeah, you're right . . .

Maybe if I blogged more often I would not do blog-lists. This is not the blogging lifestyle I want!

I’ve started hiking. Okay, it’s really walking long distances on paths – clear, mainly flat, paths. But anything over 3 miles I call hiking! First was Hocking Hills, and then this past weekend was John Bryan State Park. I’d like to also walk here more often at either the MetroParks or the gym. I'm taking the lazy days of summer cliche literally.

I've continued with my introductory art classes. I took a mini-watercolor class this past weekend. I did only one painting - an orange & grapefruit from a dish detergent bottle. The class wasn't for beginners or possibly painters at all. We only had roughly 15 minutes out of 2 hours to paint. I was a little annoyed, but at the same time happy because I was not being asked to get out of my comfort zone and paint. But not so far below the surface, I knew I would be much more intimidated on my own at home; the inner critic would be very loud there and I wanted to paint more at class in hopes of silencing her a bit

I'm a bit frustrated. There is a certain someone I want to help. But they won't let me, or can't. I'm not sure. I definitely don't know what else to say to them. And I'm also not sure what I can do. We've talked about things before, a number of times. I've been concerned for awhile, that might surprise them, but probably not. Oddly enought, help is a grey area. What IS help - is it what's best for the person or what they ask for? If those things match, great. What about when they don't? What about when they don't ask for help at all? Do you jump in and help anyway or wait to be asked? I was actually discussing that very point with someone the other day. Their point-of-view was you do not help people (adults) unless they ask because people cannot be helped until they asked for it. I disagreed, and pointed out that the saying is actually people cannot be helped until they accept help. It doesn't matter if they ask for it, just that they accept it. Can I just DO something? Why do I wait? What am I waiting for? Have I been waiting??? Could I have helped earlier? If I don't just do something now, will I ask these questions continually for months or years to come? Yes, maybe that's how it's been going so far. So how do you help someone who won't accept it? Isn't that what exists when the consensus says help = X and the person needing it says it doesn't?

It's old news now, but D is back from Vegas. He wasn't a big winner this time. I personally think the mojo was all off because Jenn was sick. Poor Jenn. She is feeling better now, finally. It's amazing what stress can do to your body. Really amazing, and scary.

We've made a home improvement schedule for the summer - sorta. We've at least settled on what will be on the docket. We've got remodeling the bathroom, 1/4 round up throughout the house, our little outside office cleaned out (it's currently a storage space - watch out Craigslist here we come), having the air ducts & furnace cleaned, redoing the front porch, getting a stair runner installed (I'm so tired of carrying dogs up the stairs!), plus some landscaping and painting. Whew! That's a sizeable list. The reward? Playa del Carmen, Mexico this fall. : )

We have one other trip planned in a few weeks. I'm looking forward to it though it will probably be a pain in the ass. Family + Moving + Heat cannot possibly = fun. We're moving D's mom from Virginia to Texas. It's not the actual move of course, it's how particular and cranky everyone becomes during the move. There will be the occaisional tug-of-war over our time that always exists with family visits. But it'll be fun because I'll get to see AJ & K, little Tori & Joe, and maybe cousin Lori too. Not to imply I will not enjoy seeing everyone else too, I feel bad calling out a few and not the rest . . . J, J, J, A, N, C, and anyone else!

Why do I spell out some names and others? To protect the innocent? To protect the villanous? I'm not sure why. Mainly I abbreviate names like AJ, D, and T because the are the only ones in my life with those letters and I've become accustom to shortening them in emails, etc. I also don't like listing out unusual names it seems like a spotlight on them, one they didn't ask for. More common names fade into the text, you may not be sure which Jen or Joe I'm speaking about.

AND this is plenty long now. Later.

Wicked - not so wicked cool

I don’t think I’m difficult to please, as far as entertainment goes (musicals, films, books, etc). But I must say I was let down by the musical Wicked last night. I rushed to finish the book before the show though I did realize the show would have to be different than the book. The book is a decent length; it was going to have to be summarized. But the show was nothing like the book – it was an entirely different version of things. Personalities were not the same . . . sometimes characters were merged to create a single character, but in doing so the character was not true to the book at all and a little insulting to the rather well-developed character I came to care about in the book; other times the characters were just blatantly changed. Events were different of course and the ending was different. Now that’s just not right – that’s messing with the book AND the movie and I assume the original book(s) too. I need to read those.
I think I was also a little sad because I could relate to Elphie in the book, but not really Elphie in the musical. There is definitely a part of me that can be quite a bit like Elphie . . . dark, moody, isolated, sad, and confused. I try not to be this way, but I have a penchant for negativity and a gloomy outlook on things (think Debbie Downer). I was annoyed that the musical messed with her character, her character’s character I mean. They turned her into something she was not – that would have made her very mad and nearly wicked.
Rather than summarize the book, I think the musical’s creators looked at the idea the book was trying to relay about the existence of good and evil. Then they worked towards that, adjusting the content accordingly to get the audience thinking. I don’t mind that. I can see what they were doing. I just feel that surely there could have been a way to stay a little truer to the characters at least. Also, the book was rather dark and the musical wasn’t at all. Are there dark musicals though?
The main idea in the book or a main idea is good and evil. Does evil exist? Is it something you are born with, something you become, or something you can be pushed into even? Is it black & white or are there grey areas? How much of what we call evil is merely perception? If we changed the way we looked at it; if we got another point-of-view would we still call it evil? The musical used history as an example . . . on one side you have an invader, but to the other side they are crusaders, which is correct? The one that sticks ends up shaping our collective view. Genghis Khan invaded many parts of Asia; Europeans explored & settled North America; and the Catholic Church crusaded into the Middle East – right? What about the other side of the story? What about what Khan’s tribe thought, or the Native Americans, or the Moors and Middle Eastern peoples? Did they, would they, do they agree with the labels and the implied good/evil attached?

In summary, the only way you’d probably not like the musical is if you don’t like musicals, or you’ve already read the book (and liked it). If you like musicals and you haven’t read the book you should be good. I don’t think you even need to necessarily like the Wizard of Oz movie to like the musical.